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Archives for Relationships

Children

Before Heading Home for the Holidays




Holidays, family meals, and reunions can include “spirited” conversations, and “enthusiastic” exchanges of opinions over the dinner table. The combination of reuniting with family members that we don't see very often and with whom we may have some residual unfinished business fueled by a...
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Coping Strategies

A Teenager Thanksgiving – 5 Signs of Extreme Boredom



girl with phone

Does your teen get bored? I think boredom is the scourge of our time,  (along with traffic and fake news!). But on Thanksgiving, surrounded by family and friends, why would your teen be in the basement alone? What the heck is he doing?

A. He might be texting or sexting or snapping or IGing his friends, taking and posting random pictures if himself sticking his tongue out.

B....
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General

Why Our Family Triggers Us—And What to Do

A stranger or even a friend makes the same remark to you as a family member. But it's your family member's words that sting the most. Somehow our family has a way of pushing our buttons---and that's because they installed them. Our family also triggers us so intensely because of regression, said therapist Britt Frank. Regression, she said, is returning to a less developed state.

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control

3 Tips for Surviving Thanksgiving with Narcissists

Who can forget the amazing fragrance of baking turkey, fresh yeasty rolls and pumpkin pie wafting through the air like a blessing on Thanksgiving morning? My fondest memories are of Grandpa, glasses on nose and knife in hand, expertly carving the turkey. Surrounded by his four granddaughters, his big turkey-grease-smeared fingers shoved the most tender morsels of turkey into our waiting mouths like hungry baby birds.

But there are other memories too. Our hostess' victim playing that soured every...
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childhood trauma

Is Blood Thicker Than Water? – Questioning the Family System


All of us have probably heard this saying at some point in our lives: blood is thicker than water. When people say that, they usually mean that family is the most important thing, or that a person’s relationship with their family members is more important than any other relationship that they may have.

But is it true? By what logic? And compared to what standard? These are the questions that we will explore in this article.
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Children

We Are So Different Part 2


Learning from the differences.
Charlie: In this process we came to see that it was our wounds themselves that were to become the source of much of the growth and healing that Linda and I would experience together. These wounds included emotional injuries from our early original families as well as the many painful wounds that we inflicted upon each other during the years that we were groping blindly towards some means of trying to keep our...
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Coping Strategies

When Trauma was King: 3 Ways to Miss It


When I'm treating patients for depression and anxiety I of course take a thorough history. What is often missed is long-ago trauma that has been repressed and buried. Traumatic memories can re-surfaces in the middle phases of therapy when trust is well-established. No news here. But the news is that trauma lives in the body (The Body Keeps the Score) so when we go back to revisit it, the therapist must go slow to...
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General

The Winner for Most Annoying Person in the World

Your spouse. Lifelong mates are the most annoying people in life, according to research.

But don't despair. If your spouse annoys you, that could be a good sign for your relationship, according to researchers.

Only on Earth. Only among humans, right? Mutual annoyance in marriage = a good thing. Can it be true?

It does make sense that if you spend a lot of time with someone, they have more potential to bug you. We spend more...
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General

Part 2: Why Aren’t the Other Kids Playing with My Son? Guest Post by Amy Andrada

[Bella’s intro: This is the second of a 2-part guest post by Amy Andrada. The first part is here. As you may recall, Amy, a single parent, is trying to figure out why the other kids don’t play with her son and why the other parents are not so friendly to her. A coworker thinks it is because she is the only single parent, and suggests that she fake being married by wearing a wedding ring, then see what happens.]

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Attraction

We Are So Different Part 1

Linda: When Charlie and I met 50 years ago, it was inconceivable to either of us, that this relationship could go anywhere. He was an introvert, a real loner. I was an extrovert who loved to make contact with people. He was the quiet...
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