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Archives for Psychology

Abuse

Is Jesus All You Need for Emotional Healing?

All my life I've watched people stand up in church and tearfully tell how all their problems were solved by inviting Jesus into their heart (a phrase not found in the Bible, btw.) And all my life, their claims bothered me. I just didn't buy it. No therapy. No counseling. No journaling. No learning. No soul searching. No recovery. Their testimonies implied that Jesus healed everything from pain from narcissistic abuse to addiction with absolutely no effort on their part, no...
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General

5 Tips For Helping The Ex-Smoker In Your Life Stay Quit

Tips for helping an ex-smoker remain smoke-free
Are you married to or partnered with an ex-smoker? Trying to find ways to support your mate without being overbearing? Need some real tips on how to be helpful?

If the answer is yes, you have come to the right place. That’s because I am a former smoker. In fact, I used to put those nasty things in my mouth for over twenty-years.

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How we live now

How Some Attachment Theorists Tried to Disparage Friendship – and Got Proven Wrong

Friendship may well be the most important relationship of the 21st century. As people spend more and more years of their adult lives single (and sometimes their entire lives), as family size shrinks, and as more and more people have no children at all, the place of friends in our lives grows in significance. Friendship is also important because the values at its core, such as equality, choice, flexibility, fluidity, and self-expression, are the values we often live by in 21st century...
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General

When the Silence Became Too Much, Even for Me [Part 2]

[This is Part 2 of a 2-part blog post. Part 1 is here.]

Even though there was nothing I could do to help the people who were affected by the tragedy, I thought there were plenty of things I could get done for myself, even without an internet connection. I could read and write and do the kinds of things I always think I should get to, but never do – like going through my clothes and possessions for things I can donate.

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Abuse

Narcissistic Brainwashing: How Larry Nassar Thinks

All your life, you think one way. Your family is fine. Normal. Apparently, love hurts. But you stay because your family convinced you that strangers would hurt, abuse and rape you.

Then one memorable day, you discovered narcissism. And everything changed. Everything. You rethought every relationship, every event, everything your family ever said or did. Your isolation. All your gut instincts, intuitions and hunches.

Suddenly, you realize that everything you thought you knew is exactly the opposite. You were brainwashed....
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Love & Affection

How a Group of Married Therapists Confronted Their Prejudices Against Single Women

In a four-part series published here recently, I discussed an email sent to me by a mental health professional that was full of degrading and disproved claims about single people. Mental health professionals are swimming in the same pool of stereotypes and mythologies and ideologies as everyone else, so it is not altogether surprising that they absorb the prevailing prejudices.

Fortunately, some of them realize that there may be something wrong with the way they...
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Psychology

Why Saying “Just Be Yourself” May Not Always Be Helpful

Plenty of people who mean well will tell you to "just be yourself." They will issue such guidance before you go on a date, attend a job interview, or are about to embark on some activity that is important to you.

The idea that you are amazing now and need not change a darn thing is comforting and even supportive. But does it really help you to become the best version of yourself?

So, why do people offer...
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