What Kind of a File Are You Keeping? Part 2

Linda: Keeping track of how difficult (selfish, dishonest, controlling, unreasonable, cruel, stubborn, bitchy, mean, aggressive, distant, cold, shut-down, possessive, irrational, hysterical, illogical, over-sexed, under-sexed, boring, passive,


What Kind of a File Are You Keeping? Part 1

When speaking about marriage: “No other relationship so profoundly tests the extent of our own willingness to be flexible and forgiving to learn and change—if we can resist the allure of self-justification.” ~ Carol Tarvris and Elliott Aaronson in Mistakes Were Made (but not by me)

Linda: Couples are enormously invested in making their marriage work.


Embracing Change

Linda: Changing conditioned patterns is not easy, but believing that change is possible is a good start. Transformation is possible if people find the motivation to do so.


Flow State Together Part 2

Linda: Flow is the ultimate ecstatic experience, the highest level of happiness. A successful marriage operates inflow state a large portion of the time because both partners are meeting challenges with skills.


Guidelines for Getting Complete

Here are some guidelines for addressing incompletions that you may find useful.

  1. Acknowledge to your partner that you have an incompletion. This can take the form of a simple statement such as “There’s something that I feel unfinished about and I’d like to speak with you about it.


LindaIt was John Bradshaw who offered a handy distinction between guilt and shame. Guilt is “I made a mistake. Shame is I am a mistake.” Shame is more global,



Sarcasm comes from the Greek sarkasmos that means the tearing of flesh. The intention behind sarcasm may be to be humorous or playful, but there is frequently an element of poorly disguised hostility or judgment.


Qualities and Practices

LindaCouples with great relationships have earned them by developing positive qualities that promote fulfilling partnerships. These couples state that they have created this largely through the learning and growth they have experienced in the course of their relationship.


Crisis Can Awaken Us

Charlie: In the frantic pace of daily life, we often forget much about what originally drew us together and focus more on the business, rather than the experience of sharing our lives.


Commitment Can Set You Free!

Yes, you read it right, and no, I’m not crazy.

When I shared this observation with my single friend Howard, he looked at me as though I had taken permanent leave of my senses.


The Gifts of Giving

 Giving of ourselves is giving to ourselves.

 “Conscious perfect love is when you love someone so completely that you wish only for your beloved’s self realization. That they are given the space and the wherewithal to discover who they are without thought of reciprocation or reward for oneself.” ~ A.E.