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Archives for October, 2017


Believing in Yourself When No One Else Does

We all experience hard times. For some of us it’s occasional, while for others it’s seemingly their whole life.

When people feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or lost, they may want support from others. Especially if they haven’t done a lot of self-work or have just begun to better understand themselves and the world.

In moments like that, we may want validation, help, understanding, or encouragement. 
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Life-Changing Moments

Charlie: It doesn't take long to have a life-changing experience. Sometimes a weekend workshop will do it. Sometimes a chance encounter is sufficient. Sometimes a moment can be enough time to create a permanent life change.

Twelve years ago, I (Charlie) had one such experience....
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How Childhood Abuse Becomes Self-Abuse

All of us have probably acted against our own self-interest at some point in our lives. For some people, it’s feeling sick after eating a bag of candy or drinking too much, while for others it’s self-mutilation and mental self-erasure.

The concept of abuse is complicated. It’s simple on an abstract theoretical level: abuse is a type of behavior that is harmful. But it’s much more complicated on a psychoemotional level because people tend to justify or...
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Acting out

Harvey Weinstein: Sex Addict? Sex Offender? Both?

Harvey Weinstein, recently accused by dozens of women of varying degrees of sexual misconduct, including rape, is seeking treatment for sexual addiction. And the public is up in arms about this, with a lot of people screaming that he should be in jail, not treatment.

Well, maybe he will end up in jail. But not until his behaviors are fully investigated, charges are filed, trials are held, and convictions are obtained. Until then, he’s free to...
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Mental Health

Life as a Registered Sex Offender: Work and Recovery

In my previous posts to this site I presented the first and second portions of my three-part interview with a trio sex offenders, one female and two male. In the initial post we talked about their offense and the registration process. In the second post we discussed how their status as a sex offender has affected their relationships with family, friends, and romantic partners. In this post, we discuss...
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One Overlooked Reason Why Changing Is So Hard

We all know that changing your life is rarely easy. Even when we know what we want and what to do to get it, it doesn’t always quite work out. Why?

Factors like skill, experience, knowledge, opportunity, luck, health, dedication, motivation, consistency, and so on aside, there is one reason why changing is so difficult for so many people. That reason is rarely addressed or consciously understood. It is loss.
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14 Signs of Mentally Strong People

Psychological, intellectual, and emotional strength is, in many ways, the ability to perceive reality for what it really is, and then manage your emotions about those observations in a healthy, productive manner.
Mental strength is revealed by both what we do and, at other times, by what we don’t do.
Here are 14 signs of a mentally strong
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Hetti and The Microwave

When I was little, I used to have nightmares about crocodiles and snakes attacking me, usually whilst submerged underwater in some swampy fetid bog. The snake would squeeze me to death amongst the tangled weeds and the crocodile would snap me clean in half. I’d cry out, as little children are inclined to do but I never felt reassured afterwards. I believed wholeheartedly that croc and his cohorts were hiding out beneath my bed waiting to...
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childhood trauma

Gaslighting: What It Is and Why It’s So Destructive

Gaslight (1944). Ingrid Bergman being gaslighted.

Many of us have probably heard of gaslighting. In this article, we will explore what is behind this concept and why it is so destructive, disturbing, and toxic.
Origins and definition
Gaslighting is a term used in psychology and common speech that refers to manipulation whose purpose is to create doubt in a person or a group of people. It includes but is not limited to denial, lying, deflection,...
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