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Archives for August, 2017

childhood trauma

The Trap of External Validation for Self-Esteem

In my personal and professional life, I have met and observed many people who are desperately trying to get approval and acceptance from others, who never feel good enough, and who are terrified of social rejection.

For many, hurt and invalidation starts very early and continues throughout their life in one form or another. As a result, many people learn that their fundamental sense of self-esteem and self-worth comes not from within but from others,...
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Life as a Registered Sex Offender: What Is It Really Like?

Q&A, Part One of Three

Not long ago, I wrote a pair of research-based articles for Psychology Today, one discussing the different categories of sexual offending and the likelihood of recidivism, another on the way sex offenders are dealt with by the legal system. At the same time, I published a longer article on sexual offending for the Sex Offender Law Report. Taken together, these articles generated...
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When Adoptees Have Children

For adoptees, having our own children can raise a plethora of emotions, all of which can be difficult to navigate. Giving birth is such a primitive, visceral and life-changing experience, it will understandably make us think back to our own beginnings and of our birth families, primarily our mother. It's not just an issue for women: men who are adopted can and will struggle, too, their own children raising uncomfortable feelings about their...
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