14 thoughts on “Picking Myself Apart (Pt. 1)

  • October 12, 2018 at 11:44 pm

    Great explanation and discussion of issues. “Bravery” comes to mind here, as in “bravery to interrogate” what goes on in our various and sundry “minds”. Thanks,

    Reply
    • October 13, 2018 at 7:56 am

      Hi Mainz,

      Thanks. Don’t consider myself very brave but I appreciate the compliment. 🙂

      Leah

      Reply
  • October 13, 2018 at 3:42 am

    Hi Leah,
    Pat yourself on the back and give yourself a big hug from me for being so brave and revealing something so personal! You inspire me and so I will share with you (and whoever else is reading lol) that even though I have not had it formally diagnosed yet, I too am a “picker.” For me it is both forearms (left more than right for some odd reason) and my scalp. It has on occasion been bad enough on my scalp that I have had to take an antibiotic for infection! I hate that I do this!
    My medical provider (a nurse practitioner) tells me it is dermatitis — and I even admitted to her “I’m a picker and I know that doesn’t help matters” but she is not a mental health professional so apparently didn’t get the significance of my comment. I should have clarified…
    Do you think adjusting to a new country, environment, culture etc has made it worse? That would not surprise me!
    Do you have a therapist you can talk to for support? If not, maybe it would be helpful?
    Take care and again, you rock!

    Reply
    • October 13, 2018 at 8:08 am

      Hi Velveteen,

      Thanks for sharing your struggle with this! I know it’s hard to admit when you have a problem. Like I mentioned in my post, I was in denial about how severe my picking was for the longest time. Maybe you should try to bring it up again with your nurse practitioner?

      I’ll say that moving to a foreign country has not made my picking any better, lol. I’ve slowly been adjusting but I still experience culture shock and a lot of stress on a daily basis. Digging at my cuticles when I’m out calms me down significantly, so I continue to do it even though I know I’m doing long term damage to myself. I desperately want to give it up, but it brings me so much comfort and it’s so constant at this point that it feels impossible.

      I don’t have a therapist here. I should seriously look into getting one. I’m going to need to find a psychiatrist in a month or so so perhaps I should find a therapist here as well. God knows I need one with everything going on in my head all the time, hah.

      Take care!
      Leah

      Reply
  • October 16, 2018 at 4:02 pm

    I love this phrase, which so beautifully describes how BFRBs take over a person’s life: “A beast that once fed on my weaknesses but evolved to consume even my strengths.” From one writer to another, you *are* good.

    Reply
    • October 16, 2018 at 4:39 pm

      Hi Corinne,
      That really means a lot to me. Thank you! It’s truly how I feel at this point in my battle with this. What sort of writing do you do?

      Reply
      • October 16, 2018 at 4:54 pm

        Hi Leah, I’d love to correspond with you about writing. You can contact me at [email protected].

        Reply
      • October 16, 2018 at 6:32 pm

        Hi Leah! Have spouse with exactly the same problem as you. How does anyone contact you to discuss?

        Reply
      • October 16, 2018 at 7:03 pm

        Hi John! I am pretty new to this site myself and I’m not sure if there is a way to private message on here. Feel free to send me an email at [email protected] if you’d like to talk more!

        Leah

        Reply
  • October 19, 2018 at 8:56 am

    I’m a picker too. I’ve been picking my fingernails, cuticles, any scab I have, etc. since I was a small child. Not only do I have ADHD, but i was recently diagnosed with Psoriasis and I have what they call Psoriasis Nails. My mother had such beautiful nails, but mine will never be like hers. There’s just been too much damage over the past 30 years. I can’t even get acrylic or gel nails because of the Psoriasis Nails. But it is what it is. But I just wanted to let you know that you are totally not alone with the compulsive habit to pick.

    Reply
    • November 18, 2018 at 8:44 pm

      Hi, Kimberly!
      I’m sorry I’m just replying to your comment now. I’ve been pretty busy and hadn’t checked this blog for a few weeks. I really understand about the nail thing–I haven’t stepped foot in a nail salon in over ten years because I know I’d be in agony. It’s terribly frustrating because I know it doesn’t have to be like this. If you ever feel like you need to talk, please feel free to message me!

      Thanks for taking the time to read my post and leave your comment! 🙂

      Erica

      Reply
  • October 31, 2018 at 7:51 pm

    Leah my fingers look the same, my knuckles are worse tho. Some of them look like calluses or some people have even asked id they are warts. Ewwww. I managed to mostly break myself from the knuckle habit and some healed. Some didn’t and I’m not sure how to ever have normal girly hands. Thank you for sharing leah, until I found this website I felt like such an abnormality. I’m 34. I hope to start some treatment and find a way to hopefully improve the appearance of my knuckles

    Reply
    • November 18, 2018 at 8:50 pm

      Hi, Amber!

      You are not an abnormality! We’re far less alone with this than we believe ourselves to be. I am in need of more serious treatment for my picking, too. Thank you for taking the time to read my post and leave a comment. If you ever feel like you need someone to talk to about this, feel free to send me a message.

      Leah

      Reply
  • January 15, 2019 at 7:08 am

    I’m an Aussie. I’m 60 years old. It’s hard eh sweetie.?
    Thank you for sharing. Keep trying to get over it… Don’t ever accept it😘

    Reply
 

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