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Healing the Hurt

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Bipolar Relationship Repair

You do have a partner who has been hurt by your behaviors? It happens sometimes. Manic episodes often invite confusion an inability to understand what someone is saying, and risky behaviors. Loved ones may perceive the person who is suffering from mania as illogical, self centered, rude, hurtful, or unreasonable. These events can leave loved ones angry, upset, and confused about the person who has experienced the episode.

Sometimes when in a manic episode a person might become extremely irritable, experience very poor impulse control, say things he or she does not mean to say, spend inappropriately amounts of money and or exhibit other harmful behaviors. The end result is the person who is suffering from bipolar is not only working toward re gaining balance and a sense of organization and stability, but has a broken heart from the feelings of separation and alienation that often result from the riff that is caused between them and their loved one. This can deeply affect feelings of self esteem, self worth. The feelings of shame and inadequacy can plague a person who is in recovery from mania, especially if his or her behaviors were destructive.

All is not lost. Relationships can be repaired. If you have hurt your loved ones while in a manic state, there is hope and you can recover what is lost. You will want to work on both yourself and on your relationship. Many of my posts contain information about recovering your self esteem, and managing symptoms. You can read about developing your wellness and recovery plan. With that said, by beginning this process of self understanding and self care, you will demonstrate to your loved one that you are taking responsibility for your condition and for your actions. This will help to rebuild trust and increase your loved one’s understanding of your mental illness.

Next, make amends. Take an inventory of the ways in which you loved ones are hurt. Ask them. Take note. Make a list for yourself, and apologize for each of the actions, including things you have said, and things you have done that are hurtful. Sometimes, writing a letter of apology will be accepted by the hurt person, when it is difficult for them to listen to you. Avoid the trap of thinking t you self how unfair it is that you are the one making amends, especially if your love one has also hurt you. This may be true. Your loved one may have also said and done things out of a lack of understanding that have hurt you. My next post will address these emotions and feelings. We will also explores positive ways to approach feelings of rejection, and of not being understood by others.

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Healing the Hurt

Dr. Barbara Bachmeier

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APA Reference
Bachmeier, D. (2015). Healing the Hurt. Psych Central. Retrieved on June 2, 2020, from


Last updated: 21 Jun 2015
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