Sunday he moved out the rest of his stuff. All of his belongings. Except the symbol of his mid life crisis the 1971 Corvette. That remains in the garage. He made a deal with me
to store it over the winter. I agreed. I am a fool.
Like I need a constant reminder of the break up. There in a most glaring green of the car. That I know I am not the last woman that rode in it with him. I learned that too recently. He has a girlfriend. Yes, my eyes are as green as that damn car.
Not that that should come as a complete surprise. He had a wandering eye before he told me he wanted to leave. Just hurts a bit when you hear the girlfriend word.
I have cried a lot. A lot. My eyes have aged quite a bit in the last few months. I know for a fact that there are more lines under my eyes. I see the sadness. I see the pain. My eyes look like they have just been crying or I am about to. Doesn’t matter if I start the day with make-up or not. It is usually cried off by the end of the day.
I continue to go to work. I am doing my dutiful position every weekday. And it is hard and exhausting and very real.
Christmas is coming. Or looming in the distance. I have not been invited to the family Christmas. I am no longer a member of that family. They have their son and brother to keep close to them. I am on the outs. I am on my own.
I will be working through Christmas. Not Christmas day, but up to and right after. I am trying to honker down and just make it through the season intact.
So that being said, I have put a couple of things in place for December. I booked an aromatherapy hot stone massage. I have been to this particular masseuse and she is truly gifted. I am going to do that mid December. I booked a hair appointment for around the same time. I need to freshen up this look. I think some highlights are in order to give me the pick me up my face and eyes need.
I also booked a therapy session. I haven’t been in a while. I have been soldering on as it is expensive. But I am treating myself this December to some stuff just for me. Thinking about it I should book a manicure as well!
I know that this is going to be a tough month to face. We are about a month away from D-Day. I need to have my eyes wide open and face this with my face towards the sun. I am going to try to be like a sunflower and grow into the sunshine.
Some friends have invited me to their places for special meals around the holidays. I consider myself one of the lucky ones. There are some wonderful people who will take me in.
Try to rally the troops. Put a plan in place to take care of yourself. I know it is busy. I know that it is a draining time of year. But plan some things for just you. Trust me. You and your mental health with thank you.
We will get through this. Make a promise to look after your needs as well as those around you. You are worth it.