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Face The Sunshine

Sunday he moved out the rest of his stuff. All of his belongings. Except the symbsunflower-1402193ol of his mid life crisis the 1971 Corvette. That remains in the garage. He made a deal with me
to store it over the winter. I agreed. I am a fool.

Like I need a constant reminder of the break up. There in a most glaring green of the car. That I know I am not the last woman that rode in it with him. I learned that too recently. He has a girlfriend.  Yes, my eyes are as green as that damn car.

Not that that should come as a complete surprise. He had a wandering eye before he told me he wanted to leave. Just hurts a bit when you hear the girlfriend word.

I have cried a lot. A lot. My eyes have aged quite a bit in the last few months. I know for a fact that there are more lines under my eyes. I see the sadness. I see the pain. My eyes look like they have just been crying or I am about to. Doesn’t matter if I start the day with make-up or not. It is usually cried off by the end of the day.

I continue to go to work. I am doing my dutiful position every weekday. And it is hard and exhausting and very real.

Christmas is coming. Or looming in the distance. I have not been invited to the family Christmas. I am no longer a member of that family. They have their son and brother to keep close to them. I am on the outs. I am on my own.

I will be working through Christmas. Not Christmas day, but up to and right after. I am trying to honker down and just make it through the season intact.

So that being said, I have put a couple of things in place for December. I booked an aromatherapy hot stone massage. I have been to this particular masseuse and she is truly gifted. I am going to do that mid December. I booked a hair appointment for around the same time. I need to freshen up this look. I think some highlights are in order to give me the pick me up my face and eyes need.

I also booked a therapy session. I haven’t been in a while. I have been soldering on as it is expensive. But I am treating myself this December to some stuff just for me. Thinking about it I should book a manicure as well!

I know that this is going to be a tough month to face. We are about a month away from D-Day. I need to have my eyes wide open and face this with my face towards the sun.  I am going to try to be like a sunflower and grow into the sunshine.

Some friends have invited me to their places for special meals around the holidays. I consider myself one of the lucky ones. There are some wonderful people who will take me in.

Try to rally the troops. Put a plan in place to take care of yourself. I know it is busy. I know that it is a draining time of year. But plan some things for just you. Trust me. You and your mental health with thank you.

We will get through this. Make a promise to look after your needs as well as those around you. You are worth it.

Face The Sunshine

Ang


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APA Reference
, . (2015). Face The Sunshine. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 20, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/bipolar-roller/2015/11/face-the-sunshine/

 

Last updated: 24 Nov 2015
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 24 Nov 2015
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.