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Hope

hopeToday I finished my job at the not for profit. Yup, big news. Sorry I haven’t written in a while. Lots of stuff happening. Hard to keep up! But for a change it is some good things going on.

I did land a coveted government job. I am really proud to say. I start on October 26th. So with my other job finishing today I have a couple of weeks to rest and gear up for the next chapter in my career. And that really is what it is, a career. I am getting that back on track. It has been far too long since I could say I had a career. I know I haven’t started yet, but it is a real grown up job. I’m anticipatory and worried all at the same time.

I want to stay healthy and balanced. I really want this opportunity to work out. I have had so many jobs in my life. It is a bit ridiculous. And my resume is extremely varied. I have done a lot of different things. I have had some really great jobs and some pretty lousy ones. And obviously sometime that I wasn’t able to work.

I would like to continue working. I really like the regime of medications I am on. I feel really confident with them on my team. I am managing side effects and my doctor agrees that we should stay the course and now is not the time to think about changing anything. I am totally on board with that. I wouldn’t even know what I would change if I did. Things are going well.

Personally my ex-husband and I have come to an agreement over our shared property. We have been more than fair with each other and have come to a equitable arrangement for both of us. There are still some hoops to jump through as far as getting, and honestly affording a separation agreement, but we are moving in that direction. I’m proud of how respectful we have been with each other. It has been a difficult journey. And I miss him like crazy. I wonder if that will ease up over time? I want to talk to him all the time. I want to know how he is doing. I want to share jokes with him. Basically I miss him. Who can blame me? We shared 13 years together. Lots of water under that bridge.

So get this…. my new job is helping individuals who are unemployed or underemployed who have barriers to employment like a mental illness find jobs. How cool is that? That being said, I know it is going to be difficult, challenging but completely rewarding. Who understands a mental illness better than a person who has a mental illness? But I wasn’t hired because I have a mental illness. I haven’t disclosed that to them. I don’t know what I will do with that information. That is my decision going forward with what to do with it. For now, I will play my cards close to my chest.

I am going back to my hometown to see my family and friends in a week. I am really looking forward to connecting with my peeps. I miss so many of my close girlfriends. I have dates planned with them when I am back. I just want to spend time with them and catch up and be in their space!

So things are going well. I am going to rest for a week. I do have a pretty big list of things I would like to get done this coming week. But I know that rest is the first on the list. It also repeats itself on the list a couple of times in case I need a reminder to get some more rest.

I am listening to music every chance I get to escape and find some solace in this crazy mixed up world. My treat to myself is buying a new song.

I look back on the past few months and I can’t believe how far I have come. I am taking care of myself. I joined Weight Watchers to help me manage my weight and give me a plan of what to eat. I know that I know what to eat, but I need the structure of a program and the group setting of a meeting. I can connect with all those people in that group. We are all fighting the same battle. And I like their company.

So eating better. Scheduling some rest. Seeing family and friends. Starting a new job. I think that is a pretty good report card for October.

Until next time. Be well.

Hope

Ang


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APA Reference
, . (2015). Hope. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 27, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/bipolar-roller/2015/10/hope/

 

Last updated: 10 Oct 2015
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 10 Oct 2015
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.