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sunshineSo this is a follow up to my previous post. A Letter to my 23 Year Old Self.

I wrote that letter two years ago. I told myself that true love would come. That all the fighting and scratching I did to find it would materialize. And it did for the briefest of moments. But now that is over.

I guess the hardest thing to keep on doing in life is to keep on going. To trust in something bigger than ourselves that we will get through this. I can’t say unscathed, but we will get through this.

I have a girlfriend who just moved to my city. I’m excited for her, but she is having a tough time. She hasn’t been able to find a job in the month that she has been here and she is getting really discouraged. Bills are mounting, rent is past due and she is behind on her car payments. She didn’t think it would take this long to find a job.

On one hand I am sympathetic to her, but on the other hand why didn’t she plan and have a safety net of savings for this big move? Sometimes it can take a long time to find a job.

I guess what I am saying is there are things in life that we can plan for. A big move, a new career, a baby. And somethings in life that we can not plan for. A sudden death of a family member or friend, getting fired from your job or your husband saying he doesn’t want to be married to you anymore.

Somethings you have to roll with. And be amazed that the whole world just keeps on ticking along like nothing has happened when your whole world has fallen apart.

Life does go on. And time does heal. But we have to be patient. Incredibly patient and also very gentle with ourselves. Speak kindly to yourself. Behave as if you are small child that needs taking care of. Try not to chastise. Love yourself.

Things don’t always work out the way you planned or intended them too. But it isn’t a reason to just throw in the towel and give up on yourself. You have to stay strong. You have to fight the good fight. Bravely face a new day with strength and promise. Even if you are faking it.

I’ve learned that everyone is going through something on this journey. None of us are immune to heartbreak, heartache, sadness or despair. It is just what you do with it that sets you apart from some of the others who can’t make it past the hurt.

Be the better person. Say you are sorry. Be thankful for all that we have been given and what we have earned. I’m sure that no matter how down you are, you can look around at your life and find something that you can be grateful for. And if you practice it, it will come easier to spot the goodness around you.

Plan for what you can and be prepared when that all goes off course. Because it can. Things can change in a heartbeat. What do you have in your life to be thankful for? Cherish it. Take care of it. Tomorrow is not a guarantee.

I was sad the other day and my friends advice was to “go talk to a tree”.  It was solid advice.  It helped and maybe it can help you to.  Get outside.  It is summer.   Go talk to a tree!



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APA Reference
, . (2015). Gratitude. Psych Central. Retrieved on February 23, 2019, from


Last updated: 12 Aug 2015
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 12 Aug 2015
Published on All rights reserved.