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Bipolar

Welcome Back Mania, Oh How I’ve Missed You!

Is there a "good" side of bipolar? Absolutely.  It's called mania.  Those who suffer from bipolar and swing between severe depression and hypomania learn to love and welcome the mania.  It is why a lot of people who have bipolar end up going off their medications.  Mania feels good.  It is the most amazing natural high one can feel for no reason.  The euphoria is addictive, and dangerous.

I am very limited on the medications I can take, but I do the best I can with the ones I can take.  With mania comes insomnia, incredible energy, increased sex drive, a love for life, feeling incredible about yourself, etc.  Milder mania can be very rewarding and not as dangerous.

With me, I find that I just have a beautiful amount of energy, my house is spotless, the kids are taken care of every day, I cook amazing elaborate dinners, and it seems as if I am just the most amazing woman in the world.  I feel like I can conquer anything and everything that comes my way.  I wish everyone could know how great it feels, so that there could be a much better understanding.  Even though I am pretty well medicated, I still experience mild mania, clinically known as "hypomania," pretty frequently.


Family

The Bipolar Wife: Finding Happiness

I married my husband after a very short 4 months of dating.  The first 6 years were very tough.  I left him half a dozen times and hated him as much as I loved him.  It was a challenge from the first week!  Marriage in itself is tough, but when you throw in undiagnosed bipolar, whoa, it becomes impossible!

Any mental illness out there can really wreak havoc on a relationship.  Most of the time it seems as though the partner just doesn't have a good understanding of "why" their better half is the way they are.  To a normal mind, self control is all that is needed.  At least that's how it was with us.

Our marriage suffered incredibly at the hands of my moods along with the fact that neither of were armed with the proper knowledge to tackle the problems as a team.  We spent a lot of time at odds, fighting, and losing the battle.



Parenting

Parenting 101: Where The Heck is My Handbook?!?

So my oldest son is 14 now. Being 30 myself, that age feels as though it was just a few short years ago and I remember it vividly.  Okay, so maybe it really was only a few short years ago. Anyway, I find it very easy to relate to any teenage girl in the world but a teenage boy?  Oye!  Someone save me!

A teenage boy = a furry ball of emotions and hormones that revolve around a girl.

That's basically it in a nutshell.  Mom, who’s Mom? Yeah, it sucks.

He was such an amazing little boy, he was a real pain but he was a great kid.  Full of energy and love, spunky like his mother but very loving and caring as well.  Watching him grow from a boy to a man is so heartbreaking.  My youngest boy is 17 months old and I wish I could just bottle this age up so that when I am looking at my little boy towering over me with a deep voice and lip hair, I can curl into a corner and remember my baby.



Parenting

Coping With a Tantruming Child, Oh My!

So yesterday my husband was off work and we decided to run a couple of errands.  My van (we just bought, already broken!) is in the shop for repairs so we are stuck with the hubby's Honda Accord.

Anyway, as I'm sure it's pretty obvious cramming 3 kids in the back seat isn't exactly easy, it's even harder when one of them is 14 and all long-legged.  My almost 4 year old daughter decided she wanted to sit by the window which in turn spawned a horrible domino effect that hit every one of us straight to the bone!


Depression

Chores: When Simple Tasks Become Overwhemling

For 2 solid weeks I have been struggling to fight a crippling depressive episode.  I still am not quite back from it but I am attempting to believe that if I put my mind to it maybe I can actually overcome it.  Well sadly I have determined forcing myself back to reality isn't exactly the easiest thing to do.  I have taken the past three days and I have slowly been working on the chores that have been sorely neglected due to the lack of energy and overwhelming sadness that creeps in and slaps me in the face.

It’s a real shame honestly that I feel proud of myself for giving the kids a bath.   Unfortunately, these days that seems to be my biggest accomplishment.  I haven’t been cooking yummy homemade dinners very much and I haven’t exactly been on top of things as I usually am.  Even with depression I can still usually do the basics.  This episode can be ranked up there as one of my worst.



Fourteen and Independant

My oldest who is now 14 is growing up so fast I can hardly keep up.  It's as if a time capsule exploded in my face and I somehow lost 5 years.  I look at him towering over me with his bright green eyes, shaggy hair, and a shadow of lip hair (which he is quite proud of ) and I am amazed at how wonderful he is growing up to be.  He is a young man now!

He has been gone 2 weeks visiting with some of our family out of state.  The kids are in a "year round" school which means they go to school for 9 weeks and have three weeks off, all year.  He decided this "track out" he would take some time and visit with  family.  I think it is great that he values time with family as much as I do.  I will say,  I have been really sad without him around, the house is just too quiet.  We won’t talk about all the extra chores I have had to do though without him being here!



Sharing My Life

I am very excited to share the various events of my life with everyone.  Living with bipolar disorder is very difficult in itself, but when you throw buckets of drama in the mix it can make it a lot worse!  My entire life has been a bit of a struggle but I only recently received an accurate diagnosis which finally fits with all the problems I have on a daily basis.

I struggle often to try to control my moods and my temper.  It takes a great deal of self-control just to get through each day.  With 4 children ranging from 1 ½ - 14, I can say we definitely have a lot of drama going on in this house and it’s not often we have the luxury of an uneventful day!



Welcome to Adventures of a Bipolar Mom

I'm pleased to welcome you to Adventures of a Bipolar Mom with Beth. Beth is a 30-year-old wife and mother of 4 beautiful children. She was recently diagnosed with Ultra-Rapid Cycling Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD, Anxiety and Paranoia. She joins us here to...