bipolar and effexorDuring previous acute episodes of severe depression and anxiety the only medication that has worked to pull me out of it is Effexor. I have tried many different medications for depression but nothing has the same result as Effexor has previously.

I am not very happy about it, but right now the positives outweigh the negatives by far.

Stopping Effexor was the best decision I could have made because it had become useless and was throwing me high and low constantly. It is well known to trigger manic episodes in those who are bipolar. It’s a nasty medication with nasty side effects and nasty withdrawal, but what I am dealing with is nastier.

Where do I begin?

It started with the shootings in Connecticut. That brought me to a low point, but I felt like I could handle it just fine. I was wrong. Being on a mood stablizer is not enough for me right now. That compounded with the stress of my husbands work crap and my decision to start real estate licencing class I finally cracked. I’m a bit upset about it too.

I should have known better. Actually I did know better. Shame on me for taking on more than I knew I could handle. Sometimes the pressures of life get to be too great and I try very hard to pretend I am not sick. I like to think I am all better, and life can resume as it used to. I do know better, but I do it all anyway and live to regret it.

My husband is now off of work for a month to get himself back together and to help me get myself back together too. Aren’t we a pair? His sleep deprivation and my ongoing stress was making our home very chaotic. All that combined brought me to a low and I cant get back up.

After speaking with my doctor who first gave me hell for stopping the Latuda, we agreed that starting a low dose of Effexor for the acute issues I am having would be a good idea. It is important that we watch for any manic symptoms and if I go high, I will need to start the latuda again to put a ceiling on it. I don’t want to go too high right now but honestly, it wouldn’t be a bad thing.

I am craving a manic episode. Yep, I said it. I’mcravinga high. I’ve been so low, weapy, sad and anxious, that a high would certainly be good right now. I know it’s not good and I don’twantto go manic but it doesn’t stop the craving I have to feel better.

I hate Effexor. It is a terrible, horrible drug. At this point though, I will do anything and take anything to pick myself up out of the rut I am currently in. There are some other things I have been through that I will blog about over the next couple of days which have also contributed to my low, but thats a whole different blog.

As for now I sleep late, go to bed late, I cant get up off the couch, I don’t want to do chores, I stay in the house, and I don’t like my life at all. I’ve lost all interest in everything, and I have to actually make a plan just to get the floors mopped or the laundry done. I don’t want to live this way any longer, so I am going to have to deal with the side effects and take what I know works.

I also know there will come a day I will regret ever starting it again.

I hope this helps.

Depressed woman photo available from Shutterstock