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Against My Better Judgement I’m Starting Effexor Again

bipolar and effexorDuring previous acute episodes of severe depression and anxiety the only medication that has worked to pull me out of it is Effexor. I have tried many different medications for depression but nothing has the same result as Effexor has previously.

I am not very happy about it, but right now the positives outweigh the negatives by far.

Stopping Effexor was the best decision I could have made because it had become useless and was throwing me high and low constantly. It is well known to trigger manic episodes in those who are bipolar. It’s a nasty medication with nasty side effects and nasty withdrawal, but what I am dealing with is nastier.

Where do I begin?

It started with the shootings in Connecticut. That brought me to a low point, but I felt like I could handle it just fine. I was wrong. Being on a mood stablizer is not enough for me right now. That compounded with the stress of my husbands work crap and my decision to start real estate licencing class I finally cracked. I’m a bit upset about it too.

I should have known better. Actually I did know better. Shame on me for taking on more than I knew I could handle. Sometimes the pressures of life get to be too great and I try very hard to pretend I am not sick. I like to think I am all better, and life can resume as it used to. I do know better, but I do it all anyway and live to regret it.

My husband is now off of work for a month to get himself back together and to help me get myself back together too. Aren’t we a pair? His sleep deprivation and my ongoing stress was making our home very chaotic. All that combined brought me to a low and I cant get back up.

After speaking with my doctor who first gave me hell for stopping the Latuda, we agreed that starting a low dose of Effexor for the acute issues I am having would be a good idea. It is important that we watch for any manic symptoms and if I go high, I will need to start the latuda again to put a ceiling on it. I don’t want to go too high right now but honestly, it wouldn’t be a bad thing.

I am craving a manic episode. Yep, I said it. I’mcravinga high. I’ve been so low, weapy, sad and anxious, that a high would certainly be good right now. I know it’s not good and I don’twantto go manic but it doesn’t stop the craving I have to feel better.

I hate Effexor. It is a terrible, horrible drug. At this point though, I will do anything and take anything to pick myself up out of the rut I am currently in. There are some other things I have been through that I will blog about over the next couple of days which have also contributed to my low, but thats a whole different blog.

As for now I sleep late, go to bed late, I cant get up off the couch, I don’t want to do chores, I stay in the house, and I don’t like my life at all. I’ve lost all interest in everything, and I have to actually make a plan just to get the floors mopped or the laundry done. I don’t want to live this way any longer, so I am going to have to deal with the side effects and take what I know works.

I also know there will come a day I will regret ever starting it again.

I hope this helps.

Depressed woman photo available from Shutterstock

Against My Better Judgement I’m Starting Effexor Again


Beth


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APA Reference
, B. (2012). Against My Better Judgement I’m Starting Effexor Again. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 6, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/bipolar-mom/2012/12/against-my-better-judgement-im-starting-effexor-again/

 

Last updated: 28 Dec 2012
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