Okay, I know for many people that sex can be a majorly taboo subject, but I am going to talk about it anyway. Many people wonder and don’t understand how hyper-sexuality can affect relationships so I am going to try to discuss my own experiences when my bipolar takes a hyper-sexual swing.

By definition, hyper-sexuality is basically an increased need for sex. If you Google it, the very basic dictionary definition is easy to find, but finding a personal experience is much harder. I would like to talk a little bit about how this little pleasant episode can affect me.

Overall, every partnership needs a healthy sexual relationship. It is how we connect to the one we love on levels no one else can ever connect or relate to. It is for creating life, bonds and of course, pleasure. However, when you throw a little bipolar in the mix it can rage like a tornado and settle as quickly, leaving a path of destruction.

Personally, I have extreme periods of hyper-sexual behavior that (if allowed) could possibly leave my marriage in ruins. A hyper-sexual woman can be the most seductive and sensual woman you could ever meet. If you decide to take that away from the partnership you are in and go somewhere else, it can be very dangerous. The dangerous and seductive mood can be hell t0 those we love, and at the time of the episode, no one matters except the intended target.

Previously in my life, during the episodes, I would seduce married men. I did it because I could, and that was the only reason. There were times when targeting a man in a committed relationship became almost like a challenge. The reward was minimal, but the chase was incredible. That is how it worked for me, anyway.

Now that I am a married woman, my hyper-sexual episodes are much different. I guess if I really wanted to I would go outside of my marriage and have a good time with it. However, I choose to stay within the boundaries of my vows and confine the episode to my own bedroom.

Here is what happens.

It is usually on the way up to hypo-manic episode (and often during) when I begin to experience an unquenchable thirst for sex. It is very difficult to explain, but basically the only thing on my mind 24/7 is sex! Three times a day, five times a day, it doesn’t matter, all I want is more. If you happen to find a dysfunctional relationship without a healthy sexual connection, the boundaries are nonexistent. The hunger that cannot be satisfied will not stay confined within the current committed relationship.

I guess I am lucky that I have a good, healthy relationship and a husband who understands my moods and episodes. He will try his best to keep up with it, while laughing because the week prior I did not even want him near me. Swinging around on the pole is what I do best I suppose.

My doctor strongly believes that someone who is experiencing a hyper-sexual episode only looks outside of their current relationship, but that is not true in my case. I can understand how that can be true if a person experiencing the episode is not with someone who understands the current need of their partner, but that does not always have to be the case.

Looking previously at my life and these hyper-sexual episodes that I have frequently had, I can see how one can easily step outside of their relationship because there comes a point when you don’t care where it comes from, all you want is for that thirst for sex to be taken care of. It can be like a sexual addiction, where one might engage in risky behavior to satisfy that episode, and unfortunately that is what happens a lot.

I get questioned a lot on “why” things happen as they do when the tornado is finished and those left behind are desperately searching for answers. There are no clear answers when there are episodes that no one really understands. I guess the first step is to understand the episode, and then move forward to either deal with or heal from the devastation left behind.

When it comes to bipolar, we are all different. No one person has any answer that will make it better or give someone who does not struggle with the illness an understanding of the why. All I can do is talk about what happens with me, hoping that others can find an understanding of some sort with how I handle things to possibly find a better solution to their own issues.

Basically, when a hyper-sexual episode hits, I open up to my husband and explain what is happening. He is usually up to the challenge of keeping up with my current increased need for sex. If he can’t, then that’s just something I have to deal with. It isn’t a necessity to step outside of my marriage (no matter how tempting it may be!) to find satisfaction because I know without a doubt full satisfaction will not be found.

Beckoning woman photo available from Shutterstock.