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New Diagnoses, New Medicine, New Attitude

Since finding my new doctor, most of our time has been spent trying to decide which medication will work to help with the Bipolar and anxiety. Now that we have that under control, we have ventured into further treating any other underlying conditions that may be making my life miserable. Then she said it.

Borderline Personality Disorder.

Wow. That was all I could think. I sat in a slight state of disbelief for a short while dissecting those words in my mind as she was talking. I have to admit, even I have stigmatized it. I felt – horrible.

We went over it all and as she was listing all of the traits I was showing which lined up perfectly with the new co-existing condition. I was silent, softly nodding my head. I knew she was right, I knew she was on to something. I knew I had been pegged – perfectly. That is me.

So what about Bipolar?

I am still Bipolar, only that has been changed from Bipolar 2 to Bipolar 1. I had been told that I am mainly on the depressive side of the pole, but apparently the manic side is still there and quite apparent. I’ve had very mild hypo-manic episodes which I was unaware of. My doctor felt it was better to observe and medicate appropriately instead of laying out all her cards at once. I admired that. She waited until I was strong enough and stable enough to be more accepting, and when I would be willing to work on a good treatment plan.

Then she begins talking about the psychotic features I cope with as well. She tells me about a medication Latuda that is not approved for anything other than Schizophrenia, but that she felt I would benefit greatly from its “calming” effect. At this point in my life, where I stand right now, I am willing to do anything to help with what I deal with. I do mean anything.

She handed me a box of samples and sent me on my way with another appointment a week later. I just saw her again and was pleased with being able to explain that while I still have mood variations they are not as wild or severe as they have been.

I am improving.

I am one step closer to feeling okay.

It has been a very wild week for me but I held on tight and I am doing this. I am taking my meds, I am feeling calm and collected. I still have a hard time controlling my anger at times but it is not as difficult as it had been recently.

I also met with my attorney for my SSDI case, and that was a mess. My kid is doing bad in school, my daughter is having horrible temper tantrums, and the baby isn’t sleeping.

The most important thing though right now – I am okay!

Surprised woman photo available from Shutterstock.

New Diagnoses, New Medicine, New Attitude


Beth


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APA Reference
, B. (2012). New Diagnoses, New Medicine, New Attitude. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 14, 2020, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/bipolar-mom/2012/03/new-diagnoses-new-medicine-new-attitude/

 

Last updated: 10 Mar 2012
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