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I Had A Medication Induced Psychotic Episode

I had started a new medication 2 weeks ago called Latuda. It hasn’t been approved for Bipolar but is very helpful in patients with Schizophrenia. The first 9 days went very well aside from some mild agitation. I was calm and collected, relaxed, and felt really good.

Then I reached day 10.

Friday afternoon while I was fixing dinner I became extremely agitated. I felt like I was crawling out of my skin, I was exhausted but I couldn’t sit still. I wanted to “go, go, go” but all I could do was sit. Let me just say it was the creepiest feeling I have ever felt in my entire life! To be honest I think I can compare it to a severe manic agitation, only instead of great thoughts and attitude I plunged into an unimaginable suicidal state. It took me a bit to realize it was the medication.

Midway through my dinner preparations I walked into the living room, looked at my husband and said “I want to die. I feel like I just want to die. I don’t want to live. I am scared.” He looked at me with a total and complete panic. He didn’t know what to say or do, and I just started to cry hysterically.

I got in the car to go to my aunt’s but the horrible agitated exhaustion made it impossible to drive so as soon as I left I had to turn around and come back. All I could think about was killing myself. It became a priority.

My husband asked if there was anything I could take to counteract what he felt was a medication problem. I took 2 mg of Cogentin, 2 mg of Ativan, and a double dose of Benadryl. Then I took an Ambien and passed out. The only thing I could think to do to protect myself was to sleep through the medication effects. It worked. 4 hours later my husband woke me and I was better. I was still agitated but I was not thinking about suicide every second.

I talked to my doc and she told me to NEVER take any other anti-psychotic again. I tend to have issues with them, but never this severe. I will see her tomorrow and may consider something else for the anxiety but definitely not another anti-psychotic.

I talked to her every day through the weekend. She assured me I would be feeling better soon, and told me to get through the residual side effects however I could until we could get back to the drawing board. It took 10 days of building up to get to that point and it would take several days to come back down.

I am still overwhelmed with dread and frustration. I feel angry and overwhelmed every waking moment. I keep losing my cool and the anxiety is making me crazy.

What I thought was going to be my miracle medication turned out to be the worst I have taken yet. I was filled with hope and happiness over the thought of feeling so calm and “normal” again.

Now here I am, back to square one. I think I am going to be mixed up for a while.

Frightened woman photo available from Shutterstock.

I Had A Medication Induced Psychotic Episode


Beth


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APA Reference
, B. (2012). I Had A Medication Induced Psychotic Episode. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 9, 2020, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/bipolar-mom/2012/03/i-had-a-medication-induced-psychotic-episode/

 

Last updated: 14 Mar 2012
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