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Archives for February, 2012

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Letting Go Of The Past Isn’t Very Easy….

I'm not the only 'bad guy' in my marriage. My husband has done some pretty crappy things too. If I were to try to list the stuff he's done throughout our 8 year marriage I think it would take days. Anyway, to sum it up he's cheated (twice - once more than me!) lied, snuck around, emotionally abused me and has been a jerk to me.

Less than 2 weeks after we married...
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My Son Is Moving Back Home!

Back in October of last year my 15 year old son and I came into some major problems. He began to feel resentment towards me and the fighting that came about left me an absolute emotional wreck. One day, I had to actually call the police because his actions terrified me. His aggression was out of control.

He asked to move with his biological father. I was stunned. His father has not ever been a part...
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Understanding Bipolar: Why Sometimes, I Won’t Take My Meds

I am guilty. I have gone off my meds against my doctor's advice more than once. So I will speak from my own experience here as to why I sometimes refuse my meds. Maybe someone trying to understand "why" can see through my experience some of the reasons. While I know it is not good or healthy to stop taking my meds, sometimes the choice is based on emotions and feelings that I can't explain.

In my...
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Understanding Bipolar: Infidelity – Forgiving an Unforgivable Betrayal

Last year, when I wrote about my own experience with infidelity, the initial response was a little overwhelming. I was still new at blogging and hadn't yet learned how to "let things go."

Surely if I am going to air my dirty laundry I should be prepared for what will come. I was not prepared though for the judgement that would be passed by one person who had read my blog. I am going...
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Where Did I Go? I Miss Me

Last year I had an amazing determination that I envy today. Where is that woman? I miss her. She needs to come back.

I feel broken right now. Everything just seems to be spinning out of control and my head is also spinning. I am so depressed, I guess it is time to up the Wellbutrin.

Where is my strength? My determination? My will to succeed?

When my oldest left last year to live with his...
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My Long Term Disability Claim Has Been Closed, What?!?

I'd like to "pretend" that I am the most stable, loving, caring, level-headed person I know. Unfortunately I know that stable and level-headed I am not. This is where it gets a little sticky.

I've been on long term disability for some time now. About 3 months ago when I had switched my doctors they started requesting new information from me. With a doctor switch comes med switches which in turn sent me...
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My Home Is My Safe Place

It has taken some time for me to figure out how to "live" with mental illness. The anxiety and panic at times can be suffocating, overwhelming, and just plain difficult. Over the past couple of years I have slowly learned the more time I spend at home, the better I am.

Now when I plan my week most of the days are spent home, being "lazy" I suppose. I have days where I...
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Bad Teachers Bring Out The Worst In Me

My 7 year old has always struggled a bit with some of his motor skills. For example, he was nearly five years old before he could even peddle a bike, and even that was a challenge. So when it came to teaching him to tie his shoes it was no surprise to me the challenge that we faced.

Here is my story.

His feet are very narrow, so any Velcro shoes are out of...
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