sad womanI am 5 days post-op. This has been a very rough surgery and recovery for me, harder than any other procedure. Now the depression has settled and I seem to burst into tears at any given moment – completely unprovoked.

I had a full tummy tuck with extensive muscle repair on December 28th. I have had severe problems with pain due to some muscle tears, looseness, and severe abdominal weakness. It contributed to my depression worsening over the past couple of years, so I took a leap of faith (and trusted 6 different doctors who put their recommendation in) and went ahead and had it done.

Yesterday I called my mom to give her an update and began crying as I remembered I did not take one single picture at Christmas and those were memories I could not get back. (I am still emotional over that too) My mother thought I was being so sensitive, mainly because I did not stop crying.

My husband has been doing a wonderful job keeping the house together, with me completely out of commission he has done almost as good as me with all the chores I struggle to keep up with. I envy him some, because he appears so put together as I lay crippled on the couch watching him run around like superman – taking note of each persons’ needs (even mine). He got overwhelmed a couple of times when the kids were all going nuts at the same time, but it was nothing short of a miracle at the end of the day everyone was still taken care of, even me.

It happened again while sitting on the couch last night, I just burst into tears for no good reason. My sweet husband, with a very sad and heartbroken voice looks at me and says “ohh, baby what’s wrong?” and I just felt like I could shrivel up into a ball of nothingness. His kind loving voice did not make it better, it only made the tears come faster and harder. I guess his research was more effective than mine, he knew it was coming and was ready for it.

He has been good, helping me with showering, dressing, changing bandages, medication, anything I need he is there for. Even at 3 am, when I can’t adjust my pillows, he gets up and walks around the bed to adjust them for me. How amazing, right?

Yes, he is wonderful. We have our moments, our fights, our spats, and arguments that hurt a lot. At the end of the day though, that man is amazing and his love is what conquers my illness. His devotion has proven stronger than any of my moods have ever been, and his love has proven the only comfort that helps me cope when I have lost the ability to on my own.

The depression has put me into tears many times over the past couple of days. It is normal with such a surgery and will pass – hopefully soon. Now I need to take the time to rest and heal while I have my hubby here to help me through this.

While I may get my life back after having this surgery, I am also confident I will get a part of my marriage back that I lost a long time ago. My husband is my hero again, and we are doing this together. He hasn’t let me down and I am certain he won’t.

Now I need to find my tissues, I feel the tears coming – again.

Sad woman photo available from Shutterstock.