Archives for September, 2011

General

I Tried Drinking My Pain Away – Crap!

I haven't written this week because I have been consumed by grief doing everything in my power trying to keep my mind busy. It hasn't worked as well as I had hoped but it has given me time to come to terms with the reality that I set my own pain and selfishness aside to give my oldest son what he desires most - a relationship with his biological father.

I would have done...
Continue Reading

Family

No Wonder I Suck – My Mother Sucks Too!

I don't know what hurts more right now, my eyes or my heart. It has been so long since I cried this much.

My son called my mother and told her a bunch of lies - she believed him. Since he was born she's always been sticking up for him, constantly telling me how I've done it all wrong. This is coming from the mother who left us with my father when I was four.  She married...
Continue Reading

General

I Failed My Son – Miserably

My son spent a little time with his father this weekend. I guess it looks like he is really leaving. I'm all mixed up right now and have no idea what on earth to do.

I miss my little boy, I miss my son. He is a stranger to me these days and I am so unsure as to how to approach this entire situation. My kid hates me with a passion, and this...
Continue Reading

General

My Teenager Totally Hates Me!

Taking basic disciplinary actions to try to gain control over my out of control son has now made me the enemy. He wants his father. His father who has never, since the day he was born, taken the slightest interest in him, or even cared.

I took his phone, video games, and his friends away from him for getting into an "altercation" at school. How dare I. The nerve!

I have now become the enemy, and my...
Continue Reading

General

How Do You Know If You’re Screwing Up Your Kid?

No one wants to think "okay hey, I'm totally screwing my kid up so bad, she won't even be able to function by the time she's twenty!"

Well, I hope no one wants to think that. In all honesty I wonder that a lot. I look at my kids and I see their every day kid happiness and I wonder if that is sufficient. I'm reading a fantastic book right now...
Continue Reading

General

Getting Physically Healthy Is Helping My Mental Health!

I have had a terrible time getting my meds right, getting my health together, getting my family together, and keeping us all together. Sometimes it really feels like I've totally run out of glue and I can't find my ground to hold everything together. It's an extremely frustrating process for everyone in my house almost daily.

To sum it all up the baby has to get tubes in his ears and my 7 year old has to get...
Continue Reading