woman at stoveOkay so clearly my last post sparked quite a debate.  I should have known better.  So I would like to rant, because I can.  That is why I write this blog.  So here goes my raw and unedited attempt at redemption.  Not that it is needed, but my image of an “abusive mother” which has been accidentally portrayed needs to be corrected.  Whoops!  Go figure, I babbled a little too much

Anyway, let me begin by explaining – again – why I am here.  I am here to talk about my life.  As the title of my blog says “Adventures of a bipolar mom” that’s exactly what I write about.  I write about my life.  The challenges of raising four children, being a wife, daughter, sister, friend, niece, whatever I may be to whoever.  This is my life.  I’ve never claimed that anything I do could be either right or wrong, but it’s the raw truth.  I am frustrated by the “perfect parents” out there who have the perfect problem free existence and never manage to lose their temper with their significant other or their children.  Oh, by the way, I call bs on those women.  They just hide their problems a little too well.

I am not a “perfect parent” and I am not at all afraid to admit that.  I have made many, many mistakes.  The difference between me and the rest of the women (not just the bipolar women) out there is this – I am not so ashamed that I have to hide my skeletons, my closet is wide open for the world to see, and that is okay with me.  I am open and honest.  I am real.

This is me.  My blog is me.  I am a woman with a house that gets messy, laundry that overruns my laundry room, and dinner that sometimes consists of peanut butter sandwiches and chips.  My kids might not get their baths on time, and hell maybe sometimes I forget to have them brush their teeth before bed. I’m lucky to get their lunches packed, and their reading logs filled out.  My husband fusses over not having leftovers to take to work because I haven’t cooked.  That’s right folks.  In the last 10 days I have cooked dinner twice!  Isn’t that awful?

I spank my kids and I put them in time out. There are actual nose smudges in several corners in my house between 3 and 4 feet high.  Occasionally, I will even pull down underwear and make their bare little bottoms turn red.  I have put soap in their mouths, taken away their computers, grounded them to their rooms.  I will stand up and confront my obnoxious *gasp – I said it* teenager and dare him to step up to me.  I will threaten him all day long if that means I do not have to hurt him.  Sometimes I even give my four year old daughter a binky just so she will shut up! *gasp*  I continue doing what works in my home, and you can continue doing what works in yours.  It’s time to agree to disagree in parenting styles here.

I have health problem on top of health problem not including the bipolar, and cannot always take care of my family.  I am ashamed of it but proud of my efforts.  I have to sometimes pat myself on the back because no one else will.  Sometimes I have to give myself a break, because no one else will.

So with that said – next time someone wants to judge the way I handle my children, step into my shoes first.  Then feel free to provide any supportive criticism that may help me in the future.   Until anyone can live a day in this bipolar mothers life, don’t tell me how to run my home.

I may put myself out there and leave myself open to being badgered for the things I do, but at least I am strong enough to confess to the world the things I have done.  Whether it is something to be proud of or ashamed of, I will share it.  Why do I do this?  Well, because I can.  So, before you point a finger and judge me, are you willing to be so open about your secrets?  I doubt it.

I love my children, and have a pretty good life.  They are great, well balanced, loving kids.  Yes, even the obnoxious teenager.  Oh, and by the way, I have a right to call him obnoxious in my blog because it is my blog, not to mention, I have to live with a teenager.  Anyone who thinks teenagers aren’t (even occasionally) obnoxious, clearly has rose colored glasses on.

If you care that much and what I write bothers anyone that much, then please don’t read what I have to say.  For those who can support me in my ranting, and who believe in my right to speak my mind, thanks!

For everyone else who has any more corrective criticism, please do feel free to share any advice.  When providing advice though, I would appreciate it if people would take a look at the entire picture, and not nitpick at a specific sentence.  It’s about my life as a whole, not one single and specific sentence in a 600 word blog.    I love and welcome any advice that will help me grow as a mother and a wife.

Photo by juhansonin, available under a Creative Commons attribution license.