Well we are back to fighting about money.  Go figure!  I know it is what most people fight about, and I know it’s a constant battle in most marriages – but it’s getting really old!

I really thought I had a problem with spending.  I thought I was nuts and just had ridiculous spending habits until recently.  I have realized I was actually really good with the household money.  I always made sure everyone had everything they needed.  I was on top of it all and our house ran very well.  We didn’t get into a pinch too often, and things were pretty good.

After listening to my husband go on and on about how I “blow” money on stuff we don’t need for so long I finally started to believe him.  I agreed to go on a very tight budget thinking it was my fault we weren’t saving a ton of money.  Basically, he broke me down into believing I was failing when in fact I was succeeding very well.

Living on this very tight budget has been extremely stressful on us.  I just simply do not have enough money to take care of everything I am used to taking care of.  It’s been getting more and more difficult.  Lately, we have needed a lot around here and the bill is adding up.  That is also overwhelming.  Clothes for six people, shoes, socks, underwear, summer gear, it adds up so fast!

What I used to do was take the extra cash I had and buy a couple outfits here and there, to keep up with the growing kids.  What this did was ease some of the stress from them all growing at once and having a huge clothing bill that we may not be able to afford.  So this “always bringing crap home” statement is for the birds!  Yes I am always bringing home stuff we do or will need soon.  The problem was, he did a great job making me feel like I was blowing money.  The truth is, I was just good at hitting sales and grabbing stuff gradually to spare us the $800 clothing bill that would have snuck up on us and robbed our bank account.

I have put my foot down, and yes I threw a temper tantrum.  It’s what I do to make him hear me.  (Yes I know, not good but it is effective!) We are changing the way we save, the way we spend, and I think he is gonna get off my butt about spending.  I have been taking him shopping to see that all this “crap” is expensive.  I mean a week’s worth of paper towels is $9.  That’s $40 a month for paper towels!!!  Time for more dish towels!

Anyway, I have finally been heard!  I think my “bipolar spending” is in fact NOT bipolar at all.  I think it is actually me being a thrifty and wise mother of 4 trying to make it in a world where you can’t get a decent roll of paper towels for less than $2.  Seriously?  It irritates me.

I am excited about this.  I have been stressed for months over this money thing trying to prove to my husband that our needs are expensive.  Though he still refuses to see it I refuse to deal with it.  I’m feeling optimistic that in forcing him to use his credit card for a lot of things he needs, and taking him shopping with me, that he has been able to see the true “cost” of raising a family of 6.

Maybe once we do a third overhaul of our finances, he will let up some and just let me do my thing when it comes to meeting our needs.  I have a big job, not only do I have to take care of everyone, I have to make the money work too.  I may not have a strict budget on paper, but in my head, it works just fine!

I feel heard, I feel I was able to make my point!  Hear me roooooar!