Photo by Al Fernandez

Photo by Al Fernandez

Or is it that she doesn’t find anyone she wants to spend the energy to date?

 

 

At this time of year, I find myself feeling a bit blue, not lonely exactly, just sad that I don’t have what everyone else seems to have in a steady, significant other. This is the time for spending with those you love and those who love you, so I find myself wondering if I’m alone because no one wants to date a bipolar girl, or if this bipolar girl simply hasn’t met the right person to want to date.

Not lonely

 

I’m not alone – I actually had a family of 9 at my home for Thanksgiving, and am expecting them all back for Christmas as well. But for a two-time divorcee (and one self-cancelled engagement) the holiday season can be a time for reflection and introspection.

 

When I consider all of the responsibilities that I have with teaching full time, being a single mother of 3 and having 2 aging parents, I really have to wonder if having a spouse is even in my future? Is my sadness a result of just not living up to society’s expectation, or the picture in my head about how things are supposed to be now that I’m 50?

 

Dating is exhausting

 

I mean dating is exhausting for me. Having one more person in my life for whom and to whom I am responsible just isn’t that appealing. How many of you find yourself alone thinking about having a significant other, only to give up because it really takes too much energy?

 

Is it because I have bipolar or is it because I am an introvert that I find myself in the second half of my life single? What about those of you out there who, like me, find yourselves single during the holiday season? Let me know your thoughts and musings! Am I really single because no one wants to date a bipolar girl?