3 thoughts on “Bipolar and Keeping Friends

  • April 23, 2013 at 4:13 pm

    Hi,
    Making friends and keeping friends well…making friends is the easy part,its keeping them is another story. Its all about give an take. It does require maintaing self controll,patience and tollerance of others. Like, sometimes we have to listen to them at times when we don’t want to but, they will make time for use when we need someone to go to. Through out my life I could only have at given time was 2-3 friends,because I could only focus and maintain on one person at a time. I would get jumbled up in crowded places and lose my focus and concentration. But, what i learned was to take turns with people and they are not “tools” for my use or “objects”. They had feelings just like me and I tried very hard to respect them and to treat them like I wanted to be treated in a given situation. I would tell them I was not in a very good mood and needed some space and whatever was going on in my mind, had nothing to do with them and they didn’t do anything to upset me or anger me or trip any triggers.(if it was my issues) When I did that and let them know that without going into detail about any of my issues, they were more likely to be compassionate and helpful and considerate enough to offer help or to let me have my space. I often tell people I am on the solitary side from the get go and remind them gently of that, that is just me and has nothing to do with them. I find that relationships of any kind can be butt kickers but I have leaned to ask for what I need and let someone know whats up with me without giving too much information if I am not sure about the level the relationship is on.(open communication) Sometimes, to leave some thoughts too yourself and to journel them instead so you don’t say things that could possibly ruin the friendship(anticipate how the interation is going to go if you do have something to say to them that could potentially be difficult or problematic) or to have them just be unavailable and hope you get the “hint”.(because they are trying to avoid you or be nice and try not to hurt your feelings) I also have to work and accepting people for who and what they are. Some people, I have to let them be where they are and other people I just avoid because they don’t understand or accept me. Its all a give an take and about setting personal boundries and respecting those boundries–of self and others.
    I hope this helps.

    Reply
    • November 14, 2013 at 2:04 am

      I am a lonely person in bipolar..i have no friends coz whenever i make friends they leave me..i do all the day to day activities alone unlike before..bipolar has gvn me lot of tough time & from it i learned a lot..i experienced almost all relationships & left alone…i was explosive & devastating before now i’ve gone quite…very quite as if im dead…n dont wish to make frnds anymore as one of my closest friend tried to take away my life…but i survived…MY GOD IS MY FRIEND NOW..coz he saved me..

      Reply
  • June 9, 2016 at 7:29 am

    I wish I had a piece of advice for nurturing and keeping those dear to one. Is any one dear to me, though? I totally cannot care for any one no matter how much they look out for me- I am simply unable to do this. I never thought I would have such an impairment. No wonder life is difficult for me and those around me! Caring for others is vital to maintaining relationshios, maintaining friendships, managing life, and managing emotions.
    I woke up this morning, thinking about something my ex-boyfriend angrily conveyed to me recently. He said I have lost friends because of my behavior. I have bipolar I, and I wanted to argue with him, after hearing this, as I couldn’t possibly want this to be true. But I tried to think of one single person whom I have not in some way lost as a friend and I came up, empty-handed. Then I started to feel incredibly bad about it; I took it hard because any negative thing about myself or anything about my self means everything to me as I am bipolar and this is the way the bipolar mind manipulates your thoughts. I am lucky to have a friend in fur; I love animals, and I have a wonderful cat named Fievel, who comforts me, always, and she is so very sweet. One of the many things I do want in life that I cannot have because of bipolar disorder is to have that care for others, but I know it is literally impossible to just gain that ability. Through my life, I unfortunately have to watch myself, knowingly, be unable to keep even good people in my life, and I cannot change it any more than I can be reborn into this world, without bipolar disorder. It absolutely stinks.

    Reply
 

Join the Conversation!

We invite you to share your thoughts and tell us what you think in this public forum. Before posting, please read our blog moderation guidelines. A first name or pseudonym is required and will be displayed with your comment. Your email address is also required, but will be kept private. (Please note that we use gravatars here, which are tied to your email address.) A website/blog/twitter address is optional.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *