I’ve realised over time, even more so recently, that you can’t change what your loved ones are going to do, even if you don’t agree with them. You can express your feelings, you can ask them to change, but you can’t force them to see things from your point of view or to act in the way you believe is right.
I’ve come to a point in which going forward I will express my feelings and then move on. Holding onto negativity doesn’t benefit me. It doesn’t encourage them to change. It doesn’t help them to understand how I feel. It doesn’t have any effect, other than weighing me down, impacting my mental health, and making me feel negative. So once I’ve done all I can to constructively and logically deal with a situation, and gotten my feelings off my chest, I am going to release any negative energy into the world and let it go.
Especially at the moment, it’s easy to see just how precious and delicate life is. You never know what’s around the corner. None of us knows what will happen tomorrow. I don’t want to waste any of my life holding onto grudges or feeling negative energy bubbling away inside me. I have enough negativity from my bipolar disorder which I can’t control, so it’s important for me to deal with what I can control in a way that is going to improve my life and allow me to enjoy it to the best of my ability.
This has been a journey of discovery, as so much of life is, and will continue to be one. I will continue learning and growing as a person. I will continue to try to do my best for those I love, and for myself. I will continue to try to help others through my writing and stand up for what I believe in and I feel is right. I will value my mental health and set boundaries where I have to. If there are people in my life who bring only negative energy my way and aren’t willing to try and change, I will distance myself from them. I won’t carry negativity with me. I will try to be centred, grateful, hopeful, peaceful and positive, as much as my mental illness will let me.