Losing someone you love whether you have a mental illness or not, is one of the hardest things we go through in life; it’s extremely tough to deal with someone dear to you passing away. During these times of grief it’s vital we look after our mental health.
A dear friend and loved one
A year ago today I lost someone very important to me, a dear friend and loved one, someone who was a vital part of my life and always has been. She has always been an integral part of my life since I was a baby, and despite her passing, she will always be with me. She was one of the most lovely, caring and funny people that I have ever met. She had a pure and loving soul, always there for her children, grandchildren and family in every way she could possibly be. She was always there for me if I needed her, she was part of my family and one of my favourite people ever. She will always be all of these things, and she will always be with me and with those of us who feel her loss in our lives. She was an amazing mother to her children, a wonderful Nana to her grandchildren, a true friend to so many and so much more. She is in my thoughts every day, but today especially so I thought I would write a post with her in mind.
Grief is individual to each of us
Grief can come in so many forms and there is no one right way to deal with it or to feel it. There are different stages of grief but you don’t have to experience these stages in a linear fashion or at any certain time, or in any particular way. The way you experience your grief at a loss is completely individual to you, you should never feel pressured to feel or act in a certain way, or to grief on a particular timeline. Whatever you are feeling is completely valid. Everybody goes through things differently and this is ok: we don’t have to deal with a loss like other people are, we deal with it in our own way and it’s important to keep this in mind and not compare ourselves to others.
Allow yourself to feel your emotions
When you are going through times like these, one of the most important things is to know that it is ok to not be ok. You don’t have to be strong all the time, you are allowed to feel the deep loss and high emotions that come with this. You don’t need to bottle things up or try to be stronger than you really feel, allow yourself to feel however you are truly feeling inside. A loss is just that, a loss in your life and that naturally comes with varying emotions. Allowing yourself to feel these emotions is never ever a sign of weakness.
Reach out for support
Remember that supporting one another through a loss is important, pulling together and being there for one another if and when you can. Having a support system of people there who can reach out to one another, talk to each other and encourage one another can make the world of difference.
It’s so important to your mental health to reach out if you are having a hard time, it’s important you know you are never alone. Whether this is your support system, your friends and family and other people who are grieving, a helpline, a professional or a support group, anyone that you feel comfortable talking to. It’s important not to feel isolated, you can ask for help if you need it.
If you are struggling with a mental illness, remember to keep your mental health team updated whether this be your doctor, physicatrist or therapist, so that the professionals who are treating you are aware of what is going on and can be ready to offer additional support if needed.
Lastly I just want to say that if you are grieving the loss of someone, please be very kind to yourself. It’s such a hard thing to go through and you are doing amazing. You are strong and you are wonderful.
I dedicate this post to my wonderful, amazing and always loved Aunty Jayne.