I’ve been struggling to write something over the last week because I’m finding things really difficult right now, so I thought that I would be completely transparent and write about what I am going through with my mental health.
My mental health has taken a turn for the worse lately as one thing has just piled on top of another, as is typical of life sometimes. When you have a mental illness, it can hard enough to navigate every day life without any extra challenges, but when life throws things at you that are additional stresses, it can quickly trigger your mental health to deteriorate.
For me, the last couple of weeks have been one difficult thing after another just thrown into the mix for me to try and deal with, and with each one I have found myself feeling increasingly stressed, increasingly anxious and increasingly unable to cope.
Walking a tightrope
I feel as though I am on the edge, walking a tightrope, trying to keep in balance, swaying from one side to the other and just about managing to keep taking steps forward without falling off. I am not focusing on what is ahead of me, on what is behind or what is to the sides, I’m just looking at my feet, concentrating on taking the next step forward without falling off. That is taking all of my energy and how I am keeping going, just concentrating on what the next step is, getting that done, and then focusing on the next one.
I am trying to think logically about the things that need to be done in the present and not look at the bigger picture, because doing that feels like too much right now. Sometimes the best thing you can do is concentrate on just continuing to breathe, continuing to do what is needed next and doing the best you can. Whatever you can do is good enough. If there are things you can’t do, then you have to put yourself first and try to be kind to yourself. Don’t be too hard on yourself, as hard as this itself can be.
Asking for help
It’s also vital to reach out for help if you are struggling, even though sometimes it’s hard to do this for many reasons. A lot of the time for me it’s because I feel as though others can’t help me, even though they are there for me and I know that. When I feel that way, I let my closest support system know that I am struggling but I don’t want to talk about it right now, just so they are aware and can be there for me if I need them.
I am trying to stay functional, to get all of the things done that I need to without falling into an all-out crisis in which I am completely able unable to function or think clearly at all. It’s difficult but I am managing the best way I can.
I want you to know that if you are doing the same, you are doing great because it is so incredibly difficult to keep moving forward, but we do it anyway. Don’t forget that it’s completely ok to look after yourself, to do what you can manage and no more, and to ask for help when you need it. We’re doing great, we’ve got this.