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When is Anger at Children Healthy?

Burning with rage at our children is a nearly universal experience, and yet it is one that most moms feel great shame and remorse about. It is frightening to find ourselves capable of wrath and perhaps even violent impulses toward those whom we love so greatly.

5 thoughts on “When is Anger at Children Healthy?

  • October 11, 2018 at 6:57 am

    Thank you for that article, I loved the analogy. I had read only a little of Jungian theory at school. I just ordered a book on Child Mental Health Called Foundations of Play Therapy because it had a chapter titled Jungian Analytical Play Therapy, I am also looking for a book/article another student referenced called Jungian art counselling with the suicidal child. Guidance & Counselling. Only myself and one other student were attracted to Jungian theory, the rest of the class is going in a post-modern direction. The brief section on Jungian therapy in my textbook left the other students with the perception that Jungian is authoritarian – due to it’s psychodynamic roots, sexist and and not empirically supported. I disagree. Other students can not imagine a collective unconscious because “We are so bombarded with the voluminous information [of the internet] that we aren’t focusing in the same way that we used to, and therefore we aren’t remembering.” (Wolf, 2018) . People also say that Jungian theory can not be inclusive to other culture; I think they are being short sighted and cannot integrate new psychodynamics because of the bias of the text; they cannot think for themselves. I really enjoyed hearing that story again. It’ would seem phones have taken over for internal biological memories, and it is memories that anchor our minds to new knowledge according to Maryanne Wolf, a cognitive neuroscientist I heard on the CBC afternoon program on Monday.

    • October 11, 2018 at 2:30 pm

      Thank you for your comment. I find that a Jungian approach is deeply resonant and helpful for many people. Certainly, it has been for me.

  • October 22, 2018 at 9:01 am

    Sadly this author turned a very timely and informative subject for a generation of young parents struggling to feel comfortable in their own skins and come to terms with the truth of the matter, ‘there never has been and there never will be any such thing as a perfect parent’ into more fuel for our current cut-off culture. The experience of her mother kicking Beth and Mindi to the curb victimized her child as well as Beth and Mindi more than the experience of Beth’s and Mindi’s parent child relationship ever could have victimized her child. Who’s fooling who here? Protecting and shielding children from any and all less than perfect human beings or experiences places a parent just as high on the “too good” parenting spectrum as the parent who serves up “over-flowing sweet porridge”.

    “Soon after this incident, I found my own “no,” and stopped spending time with Beth and Mindi. Though I appreciated Beth’s intelligence and depth, I wasn’t willing let my daughter become a victim to the over-flowing sweet porridge that ruled the psychological dynamic in her home.”

    • October 22, 2018 at 3:01 pm

      Thanks for your comment, but I am going to disagree. I concur wholeheartedly that we ought not to cut off family and friends who have been important to us. When possible, we ought to try and work out disagreements. However, we do get to set boundaries when discerning whether to let new people into our — and our children’s — lives.

    • October 22, 2018 at 4:33 pm

      I feel it is our responsibility model boundaries and protect our children. To be more concerned with the growth of other peoples children is abandonment. According to Clark and Dawson, in the book Growing Up Again, withholding protection tells the child the adult is not available to them. This sends the child the messages: don’t ask for help, no one cares, if I am to survive I will have to do it by myself.


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