7 thoughts on “6 Strategies to Take Control of Your Attitude and Stay Positive

  • August 30, 2014 at 7:54 pm

    Hi Joe,

    Thanks for this article! I really enjoyed reading these 6 strategies and can personally attest from experience that these 6 strategies work and have amazing benefits!

    Best,

    Paul C. Milford, MSW

    Reply
  • September 1, 2014 at 4:35 pm

    I take deep offense with this article. I’m only writing this comment because I believe people who are mostly sad, depressed, down would be the ones reading this kind of article in the first place.

    To tell someone that you can balance out negative emotions with positive ones is probably one of the most insensitive and judgmental things you can ever do. Why? Because they happen independently, sometimes simultaneously of each other.

    How would you feel if you were depressed and miserable and I said “Hey! You’re only feeling this way because you’re making yourself feel this way. You’re attitude is wrong and you should be happy and grateful instead.” Hint: Not happy at all.

    The fundamental flaw in these “strategies” is that you’re telling people that they can be happy if they start thinking positive, but a positive attitude isn’t something you can just force on yourself (in the long term) to make your problems magically go away. Rather they are feelings that come naturally when you’re not feeling like crap.

    Reply
    • September 1, 2014 at 9:16 pm

      Hi Bara,

      It sounds like you don’t connect with these ideas and I appreciate you sharing your opinion. This blog is not geared toward someone struggling with clinical Depression or other major mental health illness. I know many of the blogs on this site are so I apologize for any confusion with the message I’m sending. I hope you can find some posts to connect with on this blog but otherwise it may not be a good fit for you.

      Reply
  • September 4, 2014 at 5:19 pm

    Bara, you have voiced my opinion of this article perfectly.
    Joe Winer: the title: ‘6 Strategies to Take Control of Your Attitude and Stay Positive’, does, indeed, speak to those of us with varying levels of depression, sadness, mental health issues. Who else would need to read the information within? You have, in effect, told us to ‘pull ourselves up by the bootstraps’, which we get from society regularly. If we could just do those 6 little steps and achieve happiness through a positive attitude, we would not be looking for blogs such as yours. Shame on you for dumping even more guilt on our bent backs.

    Reply
    • September 15, 2014 at 7:27 pm

      Dinah and Bara:

      I’m 43. I have bipolar disorder type I, major depression with psychotic features, and take Effexor XR, Seroquel, Lamactil and alprazolam. I went from 150 to 300 pounds while I was in college. I have fought and scraped and struggled for happiness, until one day I realized that it wasn’t what had happened to me that made me miserable—I WAS MAKING MYSELF MISERABLE. You’re both waiting for something external to you to make you happy and that is NEVER going to happen. YOU MUST BE OPEN TO BEING HAPPY. Are either of you ridden with cancer? Do you have a roof over your heads? Do either of you have the first concept of gratitude? No. You don’t. You do know how to complain though, and when someone offers some nice tips, you lose your minds because he isn’t giving you a secret “how to be happy” trick on a silver plate. Happiness is a decision. Getting to the place in life where you’re strong enough to accept happiness IS a battle. But you know, I’m a Master’s level therapist. I did that after I ballooned up. I did that when for days all I could do was cry so hard I puked. Let me tell you something—people like you who sit in your pity party disgust me. You need your butts kicked into gear, because kiddos, you and I and all humans are going to die. You’re going to do it miserably and whining. Bravo. Way to waste a life. Google Victor Frankl. The man was in 3—3 concentration camps. Lost everyone. You got it that bad, you two? DO YOU? He came out, had an amazing life, remarried, and wrote a book called “In spite of everything, choose to be happy”—the English title is “Man’s search for meaning” for I learned German during one year long committment. So kids, I imagine you’ll either get all butthurt and complain that I couldn’t possibly be happy with the bad things in my life, or that I’m lying, or that I’m just a mean, mean, mean man. Bad things happened in my life. Those things however did not DEFINE my life, because I refused to let them define me. I am more than my suffering. You two are only your suffering. Perhaps one day you’ll make a different choice, but I doubt it. You sound quite self-righteous blaming Joe for his “failure” to hit your joy buzzers.

      Essentially, you really are weak because you won’t take the reigns of your own power and risk becoming happy. So, you know, enjoy.

      Reply
      • September 16, 2014 at 4:33 pm

        Atreus: How do you know I am not riddled with cancer? That was an erroneous assumption in your vitriolic attack. As witnessed from your writing and attitude, whatever progress you feel you have made in life is being negated by your over-the-top anger. When one has properly worked through the negative issues in his life, vicious attacks on others would certainly not be part of their need.
        I was raped, buggered and beaten from age 5 to 15 – first by my father, then brother, (who sold me to his high school friends), then minister. This is the vantage point from which my life was launched. I am now 74 years old, have fought and clawed my way through the side effects of this upbringing; have resisted years of temptation to kill myself and be out of that pain; have married and raised two marvelous sons; written 2 books; lectured to thousands of audiences and today have no need to weep and wail and lash out at people whose opinions differ from mine. I wish you that same peace one day, Atreus.

        Reply
  • September 5, 2014 at 4:21 pm

    Sorry for the backlash you received on this article, Joe. I thought it was great! I’m not depressed, so I can’t put myself in the shoes of those who felt offended, but I can say that these tips were GREAT reminders for me. Especially number 2.Your thoughts are your reality. Although it’s REALLY hard sometimes to change our negative thoughts about a given situation, how we chose to think about a situation or circumstance really does influence how we feel. If I chose to focus on all that is wrong with my life I will quickly begin to feel pretty awful, but if I chose to reflect on the things that are right and good in my life I all of a sudden start to feel a sense of peace and calm. Sometimes it’s not so easy to do, but sometimes it really is.

    Thanks again Joe.

    Julia Kristina
    http://juliakristina.com/blog

    Reply
 

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