Depression Fatigue

Being beautifully bipolar can be tough to say the least. One minute you are lower than the ground you walk on, the next you are higher than the heavens. Luckily, there is some in between time where things seem to balance just so and you function like everybody else.

Depression is a part of bipolar disorder. It rears its ugly head in many different forms - irritability, lack of interest in just about everything,...


Why having a good support system is important

In my last blog I talked about bravely letting some people in your life go, those that are unable to "deal" with your illness. Today I wanted to talk about the people that stick around. Having a support system is imperative to bipolar wellness and that support can come in many ways.

1. Therapist
I can't say enough about good therapists. Sometimes a beautifully bipolar chick just needs some objective advice. The thing about therapists is that...


Letting Go

I'd like to lie to you. I'd like to tell you that the people who have always been there for you will still be there when you are diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I'd like to tell you that there is no such thing as stigma. But I'm not going to lie. I am going to tell you the truth.
I always had a lot of friends, the core quality ones, and then the others...


Happiness versus Mania

Yesterday was a good day, a very good day actually. I got very excited about something, even did a little song and dance for the boyfriend when he got home. And when I feel like that, it feels a lot like how it feels sometimes when I am entering mania. Everything just feels so good and exciting. Untamable. I am a 32 year old woman and I still jump up and...


What if bipolar disorder didn’t exist?

I read a lot about bipolar disorder - a lot of books, blogs, and news articles. I live bipolar disorder. It is as intrinsic to who I am as my curly hair and the brown-green color of my eyes. It isn't all that I am, but it is a part of me, it helps to define my moods.

I read news articles about new ways to identify bipolar disorder in the brain with scans and gene...


How I Cope with Anxiety

I have problems with anxiety and have had for many years. Large crowds. Driving. The holidays. Many things contribute to my anxiety. And what does that anxiety feel like? It feels like fear, but it is like being scared of something you can't see. It's that "fight or flight" feeling you've heard about and probably, at one time or another, experienced. And it is strange because there is a rational part of my brain and...


Celebrating Life

Last month I celebrated an anniversary. Five years since I nearly died. It is almost like a birthday, in a way. A rebirth.

I drove myself out to the ocean. I walked across warm sand on a nearly abandoned beach and sat down. I watched the waves as they crested and rolled over on themselves until they were just bubbles at the shore. Birds dived into the dark ocean. Seagulls walked where the water...



Friday was a nice day here on the East Coast. The weather was warmer than it should be for the first of November. The sun shone early in the day and gave way to clouds in the afternoon.

By evening there was the soft sound of raindrops outside the open windows, coupled with that scent - that scent that comes when the rain hits the earth, an explosion of scent.

I was compelled to go out back...


Bipolar Wellness

I am currently sick as a dog with some cold my boyfriend brought home and was sweet enough to share with me, so I am trying to take care of myself and get better before I leave town next week. But it got me...