I had a blog in mind, but then realized that it is World Bipolar Day. We could all feel sorry for ourselves (which at times seems necessary) or we could talk about how we are Beautifully Bipolar.
I was diagnosed in my late twenties. Looking back my family thinks it was sooner than that and I suspect they are right. Before the diagnoses I was a series of symptoms. I know I dealt with depression since at least junior high, and maybe it has been a bit worse every time. I do not know. BUT, the diagnosis came and it saved me.
They say a lot of us are diagnosed in our early twenties, but it can come at any age – younger and older. Often times we bumble along without a name to our mood disorder. Once the psychiatrist puts it all together, all your symptoms, he or she can accurately identify your disorder. Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar disorder gets a bad wrap as a menacing major mental illness. Sometimes I hate it, I do, but we are still lucky. We feel things so passionately and when we are happy, we feel alive and blessed. If we can harness it in and not become full blown manic, we can manage our happiness.
For example when I was once beginning my ascent into mania, I believed the sun was shining just for me. I can remember that day so vividly. I remember the green of the grass that day, how I believed I could run forever around the block. As the day progressed I jumped on the mania train, but that early stage when it just feels good – golden.
Bipolar disorder is a mental illness of lows or depressions and highs mania. Some of us are in a depressive episode right now and are probably cursing this post and that is okay. You are human and you can take it or leave it. Some of us are manic – making decisions that may get us in trouble – spending too much, having sex with people we do not know. Somewhere between the two is a nice in-between. That is what we must all remember that there is a “normal.”
Try to live your life with a bit of those rose colored glasses you are issued along with your diagnosis, because it is going to be hard sometimes. The throes of depression will come. I am sorry, but they will. For me, they happen pretty frequently. I am always being told that I made it through it all these times before and that I will make it through this particular episode. I know everyone means well, but being told everything is going to be fine feels like you do not care how I am actually feeling. Or when we are manic, being told to settle down is like trying to treat a grease fire with water. Try to grab on to a hand that is being held out to you.
You may be reading this and thinking this chick has never been depressed or manic. I assure you I have. If you follow this blog you know I tell it like it is and today I wanted to talk about how we can use our moods, our symptoms, to view this world as a lucky place to live. I have tried to find my way out of this world several times and yet God has kept me here. I guess he is not done with me just yet.
So, you can’t give up yet either. We need to guide these new bipolar disordered individuals. Let them know that they are not alone. You are not alone.