Ahhhhhh! Am I the only one whose moods have been all over the place this holiday season? I’ve spent the past four days crying uncontrollably over simple nothings. Last night I watched a great funny movie and turned it around. Also, my older brother invited me out to a coffee shop today which required showering so at least I was no longer stinky. When I am severely depressed, as I was, my personal hygiene is one of the first things to go. I do not care how disgusting I am. It is my house and I can live as I please. I do not HAVE to go out and no one HAS to come in. In fact, I cancelled my guitar lesson twice. I called Wednesday moving the lesson from Thursday to Saturday. Then calling Saturday to cancel that appointment. Both times saying I was unwell because I was. Depression can be just as, if not more, debilitating than the flu. I am not one hundred percent back to fully functional power, but I am getting there.
It is a stark contrast leading up to the days of Christmas. I was happy – making cookies and a pie. My family watched Christmas movies, laughing at our favorite spots. We went to church Christmas Eve and I got to wear one of my favorite green dresses. Christmas Day was fun. The food was yummy and opening gifts was fun. Of course, it wasn’t without its own peppering of family drama, but it is the holidays. That is to be expected.
So maybe I was simply riding the high of the season. Feeling good. Pumped up by miracles and family.
Then coming home to a house with just myself and my two dogs, well, it felt lonely. I think that may have been a big part of it, I realize as I type this. Loneliness. I do not live with a better half, roommate, or family member. It is me and my beasts. I love them and they know when I need them but of course, it is not the same as human contact.
Perhaps your holidays went entirely opposite and your family was a nightmare and being back home in the swing of routine has put a smile on your lips. Isn’t it interesting how the same thing – a certain time of the year – can affect us all so differently?
So, what do we do now? First off, we have to get through New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. To every singleton out there who has decided to stay home tomorrow night, do not wallow in self pity. You are a beautiful, interesting, and amazing person. Watch some funny movies. Have other single friends over to play board games. Or just turn up some music and dance yourself silly. For those who choose to go out, stick with a buddy, watch your drink, and when it is time to ring in the new year do so with gusto.
I will talk about goals in an entirely different post because I think it can be both helpful and beneficial if you choose the right goals and maddening if you are chasing a different thing.
Dear readers, hang in there if you are experiencing mood shifts right now, a lot of us are. Remember to breathe and vent and be kind to yourself.