This past Friday I went out and got my hair cut in a radically different ‘do. I am not sure how many people like it, but I do and that’s what matters. I needed a change. I get tired of sameness.
Being beautifully bipolar I think, at some point, we long for a change.
When I was first diagnosed, you would have thought I was told I had three months to live. I was so depressed – still am sometimes. I read a lot of books on the subject, memoirs, research on the Internet, and it all seemed so scary. And I didn’t want to be a number. I didn’t want to be included in that number of people living with bipolar disorder. I imagine you felt the same way.
Bipolar disorder, both types 1 and 2, is chronic. It will stay with us for life, but don’t worry. If you can find a personal plan that is right for you, you can manage it. That may include medicine prescribed by a psychiatrist, visiting with a therapist, having a regular sleep plan, and working out. Basically, being healthy with a few pills added.
Some people don’t want to take medication and you don’t have to, but it seems to me that the people I personally know who take their meds are more successful at leading stable lives. I don’t have a set sleep pattern except that I sleep a lot and my workout regiment is irregular. Nobody is perfect.
So what can we do?
Do the things we can control: get a new haircut or color, start playing an instrument, try writing that novel you have in your head but keep putting off. The possibilities to reinvent yourself are endless: get a tattoo or piercing or get some new sneakers.
We are sick but we are beautiful. I promise.
When you are feeling down remember what a therapist once told me, I am lucky because I get to feel things with more intensity than most people ever will. That made me feel better. That made bipolar beautiful again.