Bipolar is as intense as it is beautiful. What makes bipolar beautiful, you ask? So much. In my life I have been lucky to know that some people think I am the most interesting person they’ve ever known. To borrow Kay Jamison phrase, if I were not “Touched by Fire” what would be my superpower? Living with this mental illness allows me to do so much and meet people like myself and with other mental illnesses.
I recently was affected by Hurricane Florence. I fled to my parents’ home. The wind and the rain scared me as did the lightening and thunder. The power went out for a couple of days. The generator wouldn’t work. I was overwhelmed and scared.
The weather can affect the mood of those of us with bipolar disorder. We often, in the winter, become depressed. We go into hibernation. We don’t want to go anywhere. Don’t want to see anyone. Find it hard to talk because it simply takes too much energy. Lifting your toothbrush becomes a chore. And showers, oh showers, forget about it. Showers are too hard, if getting out of bed to feed the dogs is impossible what makes anyone think we can shower.
Storms can make us feel on edge, sometimes heightening our hallucinations. They can make us do crazy things.
The sun can be good for anyone. The sun is a natural source of vitamin D, but what happens when we get a little too much? Spring and summer are the times when I, like many other people living with bipolar disorder, start to show signs of mania. Signs of man ia include talking too much, grandiose feelings, spending a lot of money or money you don’t have,
Oh, and did I mention feeling happy? We are talking untouchably happy. Everything we do is genius, every sentence poetic. We are stars. that have fallen to Earth.
The seasons and weather help me know how I may feel;, where my mind is headed. It isn’t 100% accurate but 9 out of 10 winters I have spent weeks hiding in bed depressed.
I just wanted to express what to expect as we move out of the mania and into a possible depressive episode. The leaves begin to change and fall from the trees. Plants die. For some, autumn can trigger sadness.