The last time I was hospitalized (we are talking about a psych ward here) I fell for a guy. He was cute and funny and he felt the same way about me. And there we were, both locked up together across the floor. We both dealt with constant vital checks and medication being dosed out and stupid groups. No wonder we found each other more interesting than the world around us.
Then we left I saw him a couple of times in the real world for short periods of time, shorter than I would have liked. Anyway, the other day I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize and when I heard his voice I immediately knew it was him. He had a nightmare about me and wanted to make sure I was okay. We talked for a bit. It was awkward after not seeing or talking in years.
We have been talking a lot more lately and exchanging pictures and as I feel myself falling all over for this curly headed man, questions arise. Should I date someone else with mental illness or someone who doesn’t have mental illness? Isn’t that the very same stigma I am scared of? But also, couldn’t it be helpful to be in a relationship with someone who truly understands you or does fire breed fire?
For now I don’t know and don’t need to, but these are questions that may one day need to be answered.