As I always say Being Beautifully Bipolar is hard. This illness affects every aspect of your life. From love to work to family to friends to pets – you name it, everyone is affected in some way by YOUR illness. It is easy to feel guilt about it, but you have to remember it is a chemical imbalance, not something you wished for this Christmas.
One of my diagnosis is “severe general anxiety disorder.” Basically that means that everything scares me. I don’t want to leave the house. I am frightened in groups of people I don’t know. I get scared a lot. So, I tend to call people, especially my mom. I think she is getting to the point where she is tired of these calls. I mean, after all, what can she do? Come hold my hand?
My friends also get the brunt of it. When I am like that or, quite frankly, in any mood state I call a few close friends, the ones that understand. But I fear they are tired of hearing about my personal crap as well. So I am going to stop bothering them.
You have to learn that no one can save you. That you have to save you. You have to bolster enough self-esteem that you don’t need to cry on anyone’s shoulder because you are enough, strong enough and well enough.