Home » Blogs » Being Beautifully Bipolar » Flying High Only To Crash

Flying High Only To Crash

The past couple of days I have been “high.” I’ve been feeling good, excited really “up.” But the thing about bipolar is for every up, there is a down. This morning I didn’t want to get up. My bed felt like my safe place like so many times before. I slept 12 hours. Straight. I just didn’t want to face the day. I didn’t want to exist. I wasn’t suicidal, just vapid. If the world ended, I would be okay with that.

It is hard to live this rollercoaster that is bipolar disorder sometimes. Sure, the mania may be intoxicatingly (when not irritable), but the lows are so bad. The commercials talk about loss of interest, no pleasure, hunger or an increased appetite. They have no fucking idea what it is to feel like I feel when I am depressed. Death and decay seems to be what it is about.

I saw my therapist today and we talked about my feeling about all of this and I couldn’t help but cry. This is my life. It will always be my life. But I have to remember that for every down, I will rise again. I always do.

Flying High Only To Crash

Elaina J. Martin

One comment: View Comments / Leave a Comment



APA Reference
Martin, E. (2017). Flying High Only To Crash. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 17, 2019, from


Last updated: 16 Oct 2017
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network ( prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on All rights reserved.