I had a hard day, just emotional, lots of crying. My brother had shared with me a link of tattoos to cover up scars. My therapist has suggested to do the same to my left wrist which it is covered in scars. And as sad as this sounds, I am not sure I am done yet so why get a tattoo I will mess up by slicing it in half?

Today I began to ponder whether it is self loathing and disgust for ourselves that causes us to self harm and try to commit suicide. Is there a reason we hurt ourselves OR is it mental illness? I know mental illness is a chemical brain condition so I lean towards that reasoning.

I have a call in to my psych doctor and  therapist on Sunday. I will see what the professionals say and repot back.