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This Is Not My Life

I was the girl who got straight A’s. Top of the class. Winning awards. Skipping a grade because I was smart. Being selected for the “gifted” program. Cheerleader. Commander of the Navy JROTC program. That was elementary through high school.

College I was working 20 hours a week while carrying a full load. I did an extra internship – heading to NYC at 19. In school I designed clothes. A’s again.

Work I was successful, rising to the top positions in each company I worked. I created opportunities for myself. I branched out. I had tons of friends. I was so happy.

This is not the life I imagined for myself. I never considered I would become mentally ill. I never thought my mind would betray me. I always thought I would be smart and capable, now I have to rely on others and doctors and therapists and pills. The life I used to live is gone, replaced by this foggy roller coaster. I dreamed of a life of success and, well, that just isn’t the way it is turning out. This is not my life. It is that of a stranger’s.

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This Is Not My Life

Elaina J. Martin

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APA Reference
Martin, E. (2017). This Is Not My Life. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 20, 2019, from


Last updated: 8 Sep 2017
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 8 Sep 2017
Published on All rights reserved.