Something strange happens midday when I forget, or let too much time pass, to take the meds when I am supposed to take them. I begin to have a very hard time thinking. I am very inarticulate. I get very confused; lost almost.
Does this happen to anyone else?
The medications I take midday are for my anxiety. So is it my anxiety manifesting in a form of confusion? And I hate it becuase at least with friends and family they are aware it can happen. They can guide me and help me out, but when I am with strangers it is embarrassing. For example, when I go to Starbucks I tend to get one of two drinks, but it is as though I am being presented with too many options when I am in this affliction – I stammer, I stutter, I apologize for taking so long; I say that I am tired, that I am hungry. Not that I am, it is just that I am mentally ill and forgot to take my meds like a big girl.
It really makes things worse. I already have a very bad case of memory fog (which I have written about before and will again soon for those of you that missed it). Appearing like an idiot is not something I adore. I have always prided my intellect. That is why when I was diagnosed with a mental illness and my “my brain failed me,” I was pissed.
But I know much more now and know that my brain never failed me. It just works differently.