I don’t know any of the people closest enough to share (or write about it), who have mental illness that don’t have a vice. Alcohol. Drugs. Food. No food.

People don’t understand it, I think. I think the “normal” are, like, she has enough to deal with why would she add that to the mix? So, let me break it down for you. Our brains are fucked. They don’t work right and that it so frustrating. And we are so sad or so stressed or so anxious and we just want something to take those feelings away. So we do a little coke. We drink some Jack.

We just some relief from the chaos in our minds. We want to quiet things down. Numb things out.

I am not in any way condoning these actions, because I also have been guilty, so I don’t judge too harshly. But I also feel a heavy sadness that on top of suffering mental instability we must cope with substance abuse.  When does it end?