Crisis

 Recently I found out that I am a couple of people’s crisis. Hmmm. Do you know how that feels? Like a burden; like I am weight upon others’ shoulders. And yet, I understand. I am often in crisis. Suicide attempts. Major depression. Self-harm. These are all things that are monitored by those that love me.

The worry I cause it makes me feel both sad and guilty – neither of which I should feel because it is a “crisis” I cannot control; an illness I cannot control.

 

For example, I just called my dad because I had a hallucination. That’s right, a hallucination, and it scared it me (obviously). But why should they have to be on standby? Why should they have to worry about calls about hallucinations or the fact that I have hallucinations at all?  Why should they have to worry that it is going to be another call from a hospital because I’ve done something to myself?

 

I never wanted to be a crisis. I never craved this kind of attention. But it is what it is. I am mentally ill and I have to accept that and be happy that there are people who care enough to catch me during crisis.

Crisis

Elaina J. Martin


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APA Reference
Martin, E. (2017). Crisis. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 27, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/being-bipolar/2017/06/22/crisis/

 

Last updated: 23 Jun 2017
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 23 Jun 2017
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.