Home » Blogs » Being Beautifully Bipolar » Self-Harm (Triggering)

Self-Harm (Triggering)

I self-harm. It began when I was 26. I will be 36 in April. I don’t do it to hurt. I don’t do it to inflict pain. It is a compulsion – part of my OCD. My mind says “cut your wrist, cut your wrist, cut your wrist” until I cannot take it anymore and I give in. It feels so good to give in because the voices in my mind stop and I am free. Everything gets quiet.

But then there is blood and bandages and sometimes stitches. It is dangerous. Slicing open your wrist is nothing to be proud of. I have scars, so many scars. I use to be embarrassed by them, but now I view them as battle wounds. I personally tried to take myself down, but yet here I am, my head held high.

I don’t cut anymore and can’t remember the last time I did though can tell you that in the last six months I have felt the urge. What I do now is scratch and perhaps, in a way, it is worse because I don’t realize when I am doing it. In stressful situations I will begin to scratch at a half-inch piece of skin on either wrist or hand until it is raw. It is only then that I realize I have scratched hard enough to leave a scab which will leave a scar. It appears as though I have myriad cigarette burns on my hands and wrists. Another thing spoiled.

People self-harm for many reasons in many ways. I beg of you to find help. Talk to a counselor. Find a friend, even a parent. Get out the bad things that are in there, that are inside you, causing you to self-harm.

And if you have already self-harmed don’t be ashamed of yourself. Sometimes we just aren’t strong enough to wrestle our minds. Sometimes the hurt comes out for everyone to see. Be gentle with yourself. I know you are trying.


Photo by pocketrockets

Self-Harm (Triggering)

Elaina J. Martin

No comments yet... View Comments / Leave a Comment



APA Reference
Martin, E. (2017). Self-Harm (Triggering). Psych Central. Retrieved on October 1, 2020, from


Last updated: 2 Mar 2017
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network ( prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on All rights reserved.