Being beautifully bipolar can be lonely at times. We have a tendency to isolate; to protect those we love and care about from our “ugly bits.” I don’t want you to know when I am crying for no real reason. I don’t want you to root around my mind and see the dark thoughts. I can’t imagine you visiting me at a psych ward.
So, I push you away. I keep you at arm’s length. I hold you a heartbeat behind. I have to be one step ahead.
Last year in my Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) meetings we would always end the meeting warning each other not to isolate, because that is when shit gets bad. But easier said than done. When you feel crappy and unworthy and suicidal and depressed, you don’t want to socialize.
My point? Do it anyway. Get your butt out there. Take a walk by a lake. Grab a latte (and get OUT of your car). Even if the only person you talk to is the cashier, I am proud of you. Baby steps, dear reader, baby steps.