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Anniversary Of Suicide Attempt

Geez. These next couple of days are always so, hmmm, weird for me. For many years the 2nd and 3rd of October were horribly marked days on the calendar. I was disgusted by myself. I was hurt. I carried an unimaginably heavy guilt. It was – it is – because on the evening on the 2nd of October 2008 I first attempted suicide.

I will not go into specifics of what I did, but I will tell you there were a lot of pills. So many, in fact, that after my roommate found me lying on the kitchen floor that night unconscious and called 9-1-1 and I went to the ER, I ended up in Intensive Care.

That is for people who are really sick. I was really sick.

That choice, to try and kill myself, changed my life forever – where I lived, my career, friendships.

But in the past couple of years I have changed my thinking, because, after all, isn’t it better to find the bright side of things? I realized that October 2nd and 3rd are like a 2nd birthday to celebrate every year because I got a second chance. I got a second life.

So, tomorrow my mom and I are taking a ladies’ trip to Charleston, SC,  just because I want to check it out, because I am alive and I can do shit like that. I can move wherever I want. I can fall for whomever I choose. I can meet new people and make new friends. I thank God for this life and for the fact that I didn’t ruin it.

Don’t waste your life, no matter how much darkness is surrounding you, I promise – There comes a Light.

Anniversary Of Suicide Attempt


Elaina J. Martin


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APA Reference
Martin, E. (2016). Anniversary Of Suicide Attempt. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 19, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/being-bipolar/2016/10/01/anniversary-of-suicide-attempt/

 

Last updated: 4 Oct 2016
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