Sometimes people can’t deal with your mental illness. It is called stigma and it sucks. I have experienced it and it is ridiculous. But when I was first admitted to the psych ward some friends called me and then – they disappeared. My relationships with probably 3/4 of my friends dissolved into a text here or there, a “like” on Facebook. They just don’t have time for me and my illness…Don’t know if I blame them.
Sometimes I behave badly. I get into rages. I am snappy. It is not pleasant. Tonight my boyfriend said he hadn’t been able to talk in days because I kept interrupting. When I am manic or hypomanic (on my way up to full-blown mania) I often do this. It is never a fair conversation. I dominate. That is not fun for him. I feel like I am simply filling empty space. I don’t like that particular quiet in a conversation so I fill it up.
Sometimes people won’t understand your illness. They don’t understand how you can be so “happy” then so “sad.” They think everyone is happy and sad. You are not unique to them. You will be too confusing for them to understand. They won’t understand hospitalizations or the need for medication. They won’t like your “need to be special.”
Sometimes people won’t like you because they believe they cannot trust you. You thought you could fly? “Um, no thanks, we have a babysitter.” If they know about the nuances of your illness, they may think you are too unpredictable to count on.
Sometimes people won’t like you. Everyone deals with that, but if you are beautifully bipolar sometimes the reasons people don’t like you don’t seem fair. You are labeled. You are stigmatized. But listen to me. Your illness does not define you. You are a great many things – funny, short, tall, nerdy, popular, pretty, pretty average. Don’t let someone not liking you because of your illness dampen your soul. You have a lot to offer to this world, even if you are going through a barely-able-to-move depression know that you are a unique individual that was put on this planet for a purpose. You never asked to be beautifully bipolar, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t still beautiful.
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