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The Low Episodes Of Bipolar Disorder

bottom of roller coasterYou should have seen me last Thursday. I was overjoyed. It was like I could feel happiness radiating out of my body. I was talking so fast. I wanted to literally jump up and down in the kitchen. This was hypomania. I called my doctor’s number at 3, knowing he would be out from 5 P.M. Thursday until 10 A.M. Monday. I don’t know how the assistant could have understood my message as I was talking at such a rapid rate. But my doctor apparently didn’t get the message until Monday because that’s when the assistant called me back and then I couldn’t reach her again due to phone malfunctions.

I once asked a psychiatrist what I could do when I get like this, before things get out of hand. He told me (and I am not a doctor and I am not telling you) to take melatonin and benadryl and go to sleep.

But it was a date night! I was making spaghetti for my boyfriend and I. We were going to the movies. This was not a time for sleep!

Anyway, the hypomania/mania continued for a few days. I also couldn’t sleep – staying up ’til 2 in the morning. I felt so alive and good.

Then yesterday, I crashed. That’s the thing about bipolar – one day you can be up, and the next you are buried in the dirt. I have ultra-rapid cycling bipolar disorder. This means my moods can change dramatically in a day. I always forget about the low episodes. I get so happy, so high, that to think I would lie in bed all day, like I did yesterday, is absurd.

I am low. I am depressed. I don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to go anywhere. I don’t want to wash my damn hair.

BUT

I have found that talking to other people, normal people with normal moods helps. My mom called me today and somehow got me to laugh. I called my 82-year-old grandma for an hour long chat. It gets me outside of me, out of the misery that my life becomes.

So, my beautifully bipolar friends, know that I get it. I honestly do. I always try to stay as positive as possible on this blog, but don’t think I don’t get down to the shitty bottom.

 

 

Image courtesy of ponsulak at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Low Episodes Of Bipolar Disorder

Elaina J. Martin


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APA Reference
Martin, E. (2016). The Low Episodes Of Bipolar Disorder. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 26, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/being-bipolar/2016/01/28/the-low-episodes-of-bipolar-disorder/

 

Last updated: 28 Jan 2016
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.