advertisement
Home » Blogs » Being Beautifully Bipolar » First You Fly, Then You Fall

First You Fly, Then You Fall

redhead in bedI have rapid-cycling bipolar 1 disorder. It is a severe mental illness and I have a severe case of it. It is hard. I often write this blog to give someone out there hope. Today I could use a little.

I am noticing some new symptoms that are a bit troubling. I will discuss them with my psychiatrist just as you should. Even little things should be discussed.

Today is a “bad bipolar day.” I am depressed. I don’t feel like talking. I don’t feel like eating. I don’t feel like getting out of bed. I just lie there, hoping that sleep will come so I can escape my emotions. But it doesn’t and I just feel the abyss sucking me into it.

My last therapist told me that I had to get out of the house every day, so I got up, fluffed my curls, leashed the dog for a ride in the car, and went to McDonald’s (don’t judge, it was the best I could muster). I interacted with two other people.

I can’t say I feel better for having gone out, but I can say I feel like I accomplished something. I ate something. I made my dog happy.

So now is the time where I give myself the advice I give you – it gets better. Tomorrow may be amazing. I may wake up from a wonderful dream, have a good hair day, and see the guy I like. Who knows? Anything is possible.

 

Image courtesy of adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

First You Fly, Then You Fall

Elaina J. Martin


3 comments: View Comments / Leave a Comment

 

 

APA Reference
Martin, E. (2015). First You Fly, Then You Fall. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 27, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/being-bipolar/2015/10/01/first-you-fly-then-you-fall/

 

Last updated: 1 Oct 2015
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.