I know being beautifully bipolar is hard at times. Today is a bit hard actually because I am exhausted. Just bone weary tired. I slept fine last night and slept in and took a nap and yet still – tired. But some days are just like that, you know. Some days are better than others and with bipolar disorder you never know who you are going to wake up to be: a raging bitch, a crying chick, a loving and supportive person, expressive or introverted. Sigh. You just never know and that is just plain shitty.
I just have to share that things do get better. I’ve said it a million times, you have to hang on, hang in there and give life a chance to get its act together and be there for you. And I know it is hard. Fuck, do I know it is hard! I have been suicidal. I have attempted suicide because I didn’t believe it would get better, I guess. BUT I am telling you that it does get better.
Just 6 months ago I was in a very dark place. I oscillated between numbness and depression. I will admit that at some points I acted irrationally and impulsively, a recipe for disaster, but my therapeutic team and my family and friends (especially Jen 🙂 ) got me through it. And now I am here in Nashville – two states away – and I am happy. No, this is not hypomania or mania. This is just genuine happiness. I’ve found a new man who adores me and makes me feel amazing about myself. My dog has adjusted. My roommate is cool. I’ve eaten at some great restaurants. I’ve been to a Dog Festival. I am happy and knowing the dark days I’ve been through I am delighted.
So, dear reader, you hang in there. Know that there is happiness for you, too. There will be someone to love you – bipolar and all. There are new places to explore. Get out there and live life. It is waiting for you.
Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius Photography at FreeDigitalPhotos.net