I am dating now and it is, for the most part, going extremely well. I guess the one main challenge is that the guy I am seeing and talking to also has mental health issues. Sometimes I am down, sometimes he is down. Some times I have anxiety, sometimes he does. He is not beautifully bipolar, just plagued by other problems of the mind.
He often calls me weird or tells me I am a mess. I don’t like that. I like myself – mess and all, and truly so does he. He also tells me I am charming and beautiful and have the best laugh he’s ever heard.
It is harder to be in this type of relationship, where not only do I need to lean on him, but he needs to lean on me. In my last relationship I was the one who needed to be taken care of and though things have changed, I still need that.
Don’t get me wrong, I am strong and fierce and taking Nashville by storm, all on my own (well, with my dog, Hope, by my side), but I still have bad days. I still have mood swings. I still feel from time to time that the top of my head is coming off. I am still being beautifully bipolar.
I’m going to give this a go and try to see if this is something I want to do. Maybe our understanding of each other will lend itself to an equal partnership, maybe it won’t, but I’d like to try and see.