The trigger that affects me the most is stress. It can totally derail me. It has before. And I never know where exactly it is going to fling me – sometimes it is into the black hole of depression, sometime it sends me soaring into the endless wonderland of mania.
The thing about stress is that it isn’t always bad. There is “good” stress too, like moving. I am delighted to be in Nashville, but, boy, has it been stressful. It is hard to tell sometimes if I am hypomanic or simply really happy. Because there are a lot of good things going on and for me, mania starts out feeling amazing. Yesterday I finally crashed. I was lethargic for most of the day and did not feel like doing diddly. But I’ve been around this proverbial block before, quite a few times, and I knew it was part of the cycling of rapid-cycling bipolar disorder. Up and down. Up and down.
Don’t get me wrong. I am quite stable. It is just that I have definitely been triggered by the stress of this move and am taking special care of myself. I am settling into my new digs. I am reaching out to friends and family on the phone to stay grounded. It’s all good.
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