This is my 184 blog post on PsychCentral.com. Two years in and I am still being beautifully bipolar. I dole out a lot of advice here. Things I think you shouldn’t do. Things I think you should be doing. But maybe you weren’t here since the beginning of this blog. Maybe you don’t know my story. Maybe you wonder who am I to tell you what’s best.
Because I live it.
I take my medication like a good girl. Six drugs – some of them multiple times a day. It’s what works for me and no, I am not ashamed. I am proud that I sought help and got it and have found a way to live life more fully. I know some of you don’t believe in the power of medication, and that’s cool, to each their own, but that’s what works for me.
I go to therapy. I tell you to go because meds aren’t enough. Friends aren’t enough. Sometimes you just need a little professional, objective help. And I work hard in therapy. I listen to my therapists and learn from them coping skills and how to manage this life that has been given to me.
I’ve experienced many episodes. As a rapid-cycler, my mood states can bounce around from the highest highs to the lowest lows quickly. I know how it feels to think you are “over it,” like bipolar disorder was just like a case of the chicken pox, perhaps leaving a few scars, but done. Until the next episode. I know how it feels to beat yourself up for not being “strong enough,” as if strength had anything to do with it. It doesn’t. I assure you. You prove your strength every day you are here.
I’ve been suicidal. I’ve been hospitalized. I know what those experiences are like and I can relate to you because of them.
I know I don’t have all the answers. I know that even though I’ve been through some pretty shitty stuff, more will come my way. It is a chronic illness. It never truly goes away. But it is manageable. You can live a full and vibrant life. Take it from me.
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